Thunder Mascot Introduction: FAIL

Here’s the thing about mascots: I hate them. They’re nothing more than distractions that always manage to pick the row right in front of you to do an annoying little dance while you’re trying to watch the game. And the fact that they communicate only by violently nodding their head uncontrollably freaks me out. Oh, but they’re for the kids, not you, you curmudgeon. That’s a good point. Which is why I hate kids, too.

This is a roundabout way of telling you that the Oklahoma City Thunder debuted their mascot, Rumble, last night. The story they concocted for Rumble is so stupid, that only dumb little kids would believe it:

A near-sellout crowd was told at halftime Rumble is a bison that hundreds of years ago led his herd to safety only to be trapped alone in a storm atop the Arbuckle Mountains. The story claims Rumble was struck by lightning and suddenly walked on two legs like a man.

According to campfire legend, Rumble possesses amazing strength and agility but felt alone until NBA players with similar athletic skills arrived in the Ford Center hundreds of years later.

Yes, Kevin Durant saved poor Rumble from another hundred years of solitary sadness. Based on the video (after the jump) of Rumble’s grand introduction though, Durant should probably feel insulted that the team claims his athletic skills are on par with those of the mascot. Rumble attempted two dunks. He missed them both:

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.