Introducing the Barking Dog Inbounds Play

It’s like 2005…. I’m coaching at a small SPED program in Boston, and our hoop team is playing that of another small program. We’re down one, there’s 2 seconds left, we have the ball, and we haven’t won all season. My students are a collection of drooling retarded kids and outright thugs, with the common denominator being "they were asked to leave other schools."

To compound the matter, I have a really spazzed out kid who hasn’t played all game…. because he refused to remove the plaster of paris African tribal mask that I’d had him make in Social Studies earlier in the day (he wore it for 3 subsequent months). One of my other players had already told me that I’d "better put Johnathan in,.,.. he might go home and burn down his program otherwise."

So… I put him in. Being devious, I send the other 4 guys to the wrong end of the court. Johnathan- who was only allowed to wear his mask in the game after I’d won an argument with the other coach by invoking the Rip Hamilton Precedent- stands alone at the empty end of the court.

The ruse works, the inbounds pass hits him square in the hands, and he hits the game winner. He bounds around the court in joy afterwards, and looked special enough that both teams hugged him- very unusual for a contested game in an urban league. I treated both teams to Burger King, and it cost me one week’s pay.

A funny postscript… a couple of the thug students from Johnathan’s neighborhood decided to take Johnathan out after school, to "get lifted." When asked how he fared, one of them told me "He’s all hands… he made a whore cry."