Portis Will Be Doing No Pass-Blocking Today

How much pass-blocking is Clinton Portis going to be doing at the Pro Bowl this weekend? Answer, in gravelly, odd voice: "Zero."
When the Clinton Portis reality show happens after his playing career is done, it will make the Big Lebowski look like gritty documentary in comparison. There will be at least seven costume changes and one musical number per episode, and after this video, there will have to be sharks. I don't know how you're going to work them into every episode, Clinton, but if you can invent Coach Janky Spanky and admit you will be doing "zero pass blocking" during the Pro Bowl, I'm certain you'll find a way to do it.

Wait, I 've got it: dancing sharks in costumes. Or, if you want to save money, just substitute Joey Porter, since I'm pretty sure he's at least half shark from his mother's side. (Dad? Pit bull.)

(HT: Chris Cooley's excellent website.)

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