â†µYour crop of embarrassing-to-surprisingly high scores in the Wonderlic Test for this year's group of NFL draftees-to-be are in, and the inverse relationship between speed/agility and brainpower is particularly prominent. â†µ
â†µNorth Carolina's Hakeem Nicks, an unmanageable cover assignment who was a one-man offensive plan for the Tar Heels this year, earns the Vince Young Memorial Prize for Thinkgood with an 11. Percy Harvin, Florida's blipster wide receiver, scored a 12, presumably eating half of his scorecard when he confused it for a cookie. Darius Heyward-Bey, whose 40 vaulted him into the top tier of wideouts in this year's draft, got distracted by a ball of yarn halfway through the test, and finished with a 14. â†µâ†µ
â†µNone of this will matter, however, because they are faster than 99.99% of the humans on the planet, and will spend their 20's sleeping atop piles of money and beautiful women. â†µâ†µ
â†µLook at the big brain on Matt Stafford, though, who in addition to his keg-lifting skills could probably explain to you the complex physics involved in pressurizing a carbonated liquid and then pressing it overhead. Stafford scored a 38, a formidable score just under Eli Manning's 39 and Alex Smith's 40. Unlike the wideout scores, a high Wonderlic can only help a quarterback, as he may have "Three-Play" Norv Turner as an offensive coordinator, or might end up with a formation freak like Mike Martz whose playbook looks like a particularly hefty Torah. He got marginally richer with the score, and also has a beeline on the money/beautiful women/piles plan. â†µâ†µ
â†µTwo players who did not help themselves with their brain exam: OL Andre Smith, who rounded out his complete and total draft FAIL with a 17, considered borderline for a tackle, and linebacker Rey Maualuga, whose 15 is troublingly low for someone who will call defenses on the field. Maualuga can make up for the low score by demonstrating on-field speed and savvy, and also by reminding them of his ability to hit people so hard their toenails fly off on impact. â†µâ†µ
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