Updated throughout the day with quick takes from staff.
North Carolina's Hakeem Nicks, an unmanageable cover assignment who was a one-man offensive plan for the Tar Heels this year, earns the Vince Young Memorial Prize for Thinkgood with an 11. Percy Harvin, Florida's blipster wide receiver, scored a 12, presumably eating half of his scorecard when he confused it for a cookie. Darius Heyward-Bey, whose 40 vaulted him into the top tier of wideouts in this year's draft, got distracted by a ball of yarn halfway through the test, and finished with a 14.
None of this will matter, however, because they are faster than 99.99% of the humans on the planet, and will spend their 20's sleeping atop piles of money and beautiful women.
Look at the big brain on Matt Stafford, though, who in addition to his keg-lifting skills could probably explain to you the complex physics involved in pressurizing a carbonated liquid and then pressing it overhead. Stafford scored a 38, a formidable score just under Eli Manning's 39 and Alex Smith's 40. Unlike the wideout scores, a high Wonderlic can only help a quarterback, as he may have "Three-Play" Norv Turner as an offensive coordinator, or might end up with a formation freak like Mike Martz whose playbook looks like a particularly hefty Torah. He got marginally richer with the score, and also has a beeline on the money/beautiful women/piles plan.
Two players who did not help themselves with their brain exam: OL Andre Smith, who rounded out his complete and total draft FAIL with a 17, considered borderline for a tackle, and linebacker Rey Maualuga, whose 15 is troublingly low for someone who will call defenses on the field. Maualuga can make up for the low score by demonstrating on-field speed and savvy, and also by reminding them of his ability to hit people so hard their toenails fly off on impact.
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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Is that a novelty test card he’s holding? It’s gigantic. That looks like my grandmother’s phone. I’ll go ahead and pretend to be surprised that another UF receiver is an idiot; I will not pretend to be surprised when he busts in the NFL.
by ChiAdam on Mar 23, 2009 12:14 PM EDT reply actions
It’s a photoshop job, moron. Maybe you would score a 12, too. Who cares about the wonderlic anyway? Dan Marino scored a 14, and man what a bust. Not like a receiver needs a genius IQ to run routes, block, and catch a ball.
by calvus on Mar 23, 2009 7:16 PM EDT reply actions
Uhhhhh, duuuuuhhhh, ChiAdam, do yew thank thet thet big brane thet girl is holding up is REALLY Stafford’s? It’s gigantic. How did thet hole brane fit in his skull? Do yew thank it hurt when she done pulled it out of his skull, ChiAdam???? Do yew thank yer brane is thet big?
by texigator on Mar 23, 2009 10:22 PM EDT reply actions
Check out Howard Gardener’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences. "IQ" tests, which mainly measure linguistic and mathematic problem solving ability have nothing to do with kinesthetic and spatial intelligence. That’s why we get stories like Dan Marino at 14 and Alex Smith at 40. Since there is no connection, its random. I’m sure the NFL feels all scientific by using this kind of tool, but it really is irrelevant
by rope21 on Mar 23, 2009 10:54 PM EDT reply actions
What kind of a test is called the wonderlic? If I were going to have a test called the wonderlic it would be a test for steroid users…and lick paper here and sign your name. Your results will be in the mail. haha
by pyper032000 on Mar 23, 2009 11:40 PM EDT reply actions
the Wonderlic is meaningless, it could have been matt millens #1 drafting tool.
by brooks36 on Mar 24, 2009 1:34 AM EDT reply actions
Yeah Spence, Norv is a three play coach. Try three-play Cottrell, who got booted and instantly the Bolts D was better, rendering the whole team better. Wise up butt clown.
by Havinspw2007 on Mar 25, 2009 10:10 AM EDT reply actions
that’s right, rope21, "spacial intelligence" like the space between your ears where the intelligence should be.
what do you want them to do, take a feng shui test to see if they can master a playbook?
gee, linguistics just might be useful for that.
and if you do think your "spacial intelligence" is important for football, maybe a little thing known as geometry might be relevant.
by sorum84 on Mar 25, 2009 2:55 PM EDT reply actions
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