Stafford Is Wonderlic Ninja; Harvin Not So Much


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↵Your crop of embarrassing-to-surprisingly high scores in the Wonderlic Test for this year's group of NFL draftees-to-be are in, and the inverse relationship between speed/agility and brainpower is particularly prominent. ↵

↵North Carolina's Hakeem Nicks, an unmanageable cover assignment who was a one-man offensive plan for the Tar Heels this year, earns the Vince Young Memorial Prize for Thinkgood with an 11. Percy Harvin, Florida's blipster wide receiver, scored a 12, presumably eating half of his scorecard when he confused it for a cookie. Darius Heyward-Bey, whose 40 vaulted him into the top tier of wideouts in this year's draft, got distracted by a ball of yarn halfway through the test, and finished with a 14. ↵

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↵None of this will matter, however, because they are faster than 99.99% of the humans on the planet, and will spend their 20's sleeping atop piles of money and beautiful women. ↵

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↵Look at the big brain on Matt Stafford, though, who in addition to his keg-lifting skills could probably explain to you the complex physics involved in pressurizing a carbonated liquid and then pressing it overhead. Stafford scored a 38, a formidable score just under Eli Manning's 39 and Alex Smith's 40. Unlike the wideout scores, a high Wonderlic can only help a quarterback, as he may have "Three-Play" Norv Turner as an offensive coordinator, or might end up with a formation freak like Mike Martz whose playbook looks like a particularly hefty Torah. He got marginally richer with the score, and also has a beeline on the money/beautiful women/piles plan. ↵

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↵Two players who did not help themselves with their brain exam: OL Andre Smith, who rounded out his complete and total draft FAIL with a 17, considered borderline for a tackle, and linebacker Rey Maualuga, whose 15 is troublingly low for someone who will call defenses on the field. Maualuga can make up for the low score by demonstrating on-field speed and savvy, and also by reminding them of his ability to hit people so hard their toenails fly off on impact. ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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