â†µ[Takes eight shots of tequila, cries. Recovers.] â†µâ†µ
â†µIf only we'd had this technology when I was young and not yet revealed as completely unathletic in every way: DNA testing for ACTN3, a particular gene whose twists and variations have a powerful effect on whether you develop fast-twitch muscles (see: sprinters, speed athletes) or slow-twitch muscles (endurance athletes). Atlas Sports Genetics will happily tell you your child's particular variant of the gene for just $149. That's cheap for genetic testing, but even cheaper when you consider the cost of ruining your child's happiness with extremely specific harassment over their failure to live up to their potential. â†µ
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.