This Week in Fantastically Stupid Lawsuits, Starring Baseball Fan vs. Yankees, NY City

You may be a "Star-Spangled Banner" person, but I've always been an "America, the Beautiful" guy, especially if Ray Charles is doing it. It's easy to sing, you only have to do one full verse to get a decent anthem out of it, and most importantly, you can sing it without having to wonder whether anyone's giggling at you trying to hit the high notes because there really aren't any. (Not that Marvin Gaye had any problems with this, but he was Marvin Gaye, and sadly you're not.) ↵

↵The anthem still gives me the requisite chills, but I can't say the same for "God Bless America," though, mostly because it a) uses the word "foam," a ridiculous word to have in any song about something important, and b) it started delaying sporting events another two minutes or so after its post-9/11 renaissance as a frequently used song in stadiums, and I have zero patience for anything standing between me and the game. ↵

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↵I therefore really want to be on the side of Bradford Campeau-Laurion, a Yankees fan who filed a lawsuit against the Yankees and New York City. Campeau-Laurion claims his civil rights were violated when police officers not only refused to allow him to leave his seat during the 7th inning stretch, a time when the Yankees play "God Bless America" over the loudspeakers, but also forcibly escorted him out of the stadium. Not only am I not a huge fan of the song, I have enough rebel in me to respect someone telling The Man to move aside, because freedom is getting up to pee during a baseball game whenever you please. ↵

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↵Unfortunately for his case, Campeau-Laurion may have taken his freedoms a bit too far into Drunksylvania, according to the police: ↵

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↵⇥Police say the resident of Queens, New York, was being unruly. ↵⇥

↵⇥"The officers observed a male standing on his seat, cursing, using inappropriate language and acting in a disorderly manner while reeking of alcohol and decided to eject him rather than subject others to his offensive behavior," police spokesman Paul Browne said in an e-mail. ↵⇥

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↵He's lucky to get away with just an ejection, though if there are witnesses who corroborate his story there might be a real case. Perhaps the real lesson in all of this is that if you want to keep the fans happy, you should start playing the real anthem of our nation, something we suggest the Mets begin doing immediately: "Don't Stop Believing." You won't have to keep people in their seats by force; they'll stay there on their own accord just to sing about strangers passing in the niiiiiiheeeeeeiiiiiight....↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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