Oklahoma's Web Policy: Drinking Is Not a Hobby

It's so sad that social networking sites like Facebook and microblogs like Twitter have just now come around. So much good comic potential has already gone down the drain of history thanks to technology's slow creep: Jim McMahon's twitter feed from Provo during his days at BYU, for example, would have been worth its weight in gold. (Status, 1:25 a.m.: "One beer-tato, two beer-tato, three beer-tato more!") Or Bill Walton's during his days at UCLA, a stream of consciousness amusing for entirely different reasons.
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↵Sadly, Oklahoma's new internet policy for athletes warns them against doing anything that would make the university look bad, specifically making the statement that "'Partying,' 'drinking,' and 'getting wasted' do not qualify as real hobbies or interests." The Sooners are quite serious about enforcing this, as just last year Josh Jarboe lost his scholarship after a profanity laced gangsta rap freestyle featuring his rap "skills" made the rounds through the blogosphere. ↵

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↵Nevertheless, if there are those interested in the fine art of epicureanism who wish to state this on Facebook in a subtle manner, I suggest they describe themselves as "bonhomie enthusiast," "nightlife decathlete," "epicurean," or better still, "Close personal friend of Mr. Peter O'Toole." All of these should get the message through clearly enough that you are a gentleman of taste who does not deny themselves the pleasures of the mature grape, and will signal to those around you that you are looking for running partners. Plus, it sounds a lot more elegant than listing "Beer Hunter" or "Das Jagerbomber" under your profile info. ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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