Updated throughout the day with quick takes from staff.
by Spencer Hall • Apr 29, 2009 12:30 PM EDT
The Kentucky Derby's coming up Saturday, and you can at least look like you know what you're doing going into the race with our handy horse profiles. Learn their names, because they're never gonna learn yours. (Because they're horses, and they're not that bright.)
Name: I WANT REVENGE. It's not listed in all caps, but it should be since the horse's name is I WANT REVENGE.
Description: Three-year-old Dark Bay, or as they say in the non-horse person world, "Brown." I WANT REVENGE kicked his way out of his mother's stomach at birth, killed a stable hand just to see what it felt like, and has spent the rest of his life running through walls, kicking the innocent and the guilty until they surrender, and attempting to satisfy his unquenchable thirst for vengeance. He is a descendant of Seattle Slew, but just because he's his grandfather doesn't mean I WANT REVENGE wouldn't jump kick him in the eye if he met him ... just on principle, mind you.
I WANT REVENGE is trained by Jeff Mullin and is owned by IEAH Stables, but in truth they just point him at something he hates and he sprints after it with every ounce of the boundless, vengeful hate in his heart. I WANT REVENGE is the odds on favorite to win the Derby after wins at the Wood Memorial and Gotham races at Aqueduct and a series of impressive workouts this weekend. He's also standing right behind you right now.
Likes: REVENGE. The sound of a chump's face being crushed beneath his hoof. Hate. Sesame seed bagels, oddly enough. The Florida Treasure coast in spring. The smell of burning cities.
Dislikes: Love, compassion, and jockeys, as they attempt to get in the way of REVENGE, sweet REVENGE.
Current odds: 9/2.
Celebrity/Horse lookalike: Shannon Sharpe
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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