Does Lane Kiffin Understand SEC football? "He's About To," According to Todd Helton

Cuddle up with us, Lane Kiffin, so I can tell you how pretty you are, and how glad I am you're here. The SEC can get stuffy after a while, and it's nice to have a reckless, shin-kicking toddler storming around the place doing the adorable things toddlers do: sticking your finger in light sockets, calling old fat ladies fat, tattling on people even when they've done nothing wrong, and drinking whole cans of paint left too low on the shelves. It's a form of levity for me, a way of cutting the tension in this room full of coaches getting dangerously close to professional in both pay and demeanor. ↵

↵Some people are going to try to crush that blundering enthusiasm out of you, of course. Like Todd Helton, who insists you're about to learn what the SEC is all about: ↵

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↵Helton has reason to beef with Kiffin: he's a diehard Vol, a former ↵starting QB who lost this starting job to Peyton Manning, and a Fulmer ↵loyalist. But this is very much the same stuff said about Urban Meyer ↵in his first year, along with now humorous statements like "The spread ↵option will never work in the SEC." Two SEC and national titles later, ↵they were obviously totally right. ↵

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↵Therefore, as a Florida fan and avowed enemy of all things Orange and White, I'm obligated to say that Lane Kiffin is acting like a total ↵twit, and that at this point in his still-fetal career as Tennessee ↵coach he probably couldn't pick Smokey's handsome bluetick profile out ↵of a lineup of random hounds. However, saying he doesn't understand ↵the SEC is just an exercise in the obvious. Urban Meyer didn't ↵"understand the SEC" either, and he still managed to win nine games in ↵year one. ↵

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↵Now, Meyer's demonstrably better as a coach and way more handsome and ↵makes more money and lifts more weight and could beat up your dad ↵with one hand tied behind his back 'n stuff. That's not the point. ↵Without coaching a single game in the SEC yet, let's appreciate Kiffin ↵for what he has been thus far: a hell of a cabaret act in the tired ↵offseason. If it goes wrong, Tennessee at least gives us something to ↵laugh at, and if it goes right, they've got a young coach with nowhere ↵to go but the NFL. The equation looks a bit funky, but the numbers ↵work out nicely for a college football fan either way. ↵(H/T to WarBlogEagle.com for the image.) ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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