Zack Asack Kicked Off Duke; Did He Ever Have a Chance?

Tragic news for Duke football and syndicated television, as the talented Zack Attack was booted from the Blue Devils for the ubiquitous "violation of team rules." Caffeine pill abuse? Could have been!
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↵Zack Attack, a wildly successful four-member pop group from Bayside High School in Palisades, California, had just moved from quarterback to safety in order to get playing time.  Duke's quarterback position is already pretty well set with A.C. Slater Thaddeus Lewis emerging as a star under center.
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↵Zack Attack was previously suspended for the balance of the 2006 season for plagiarism, so it's not as if he was in the coaches' good graces. Word has it that he was "riding low in [his] chair" so the teacher "won't know that [he's] there."
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↵Fortunately, Zack Attack has released a statement that not only are there no hard feelings, but he'll stay friends with the program. Forever.
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↵[UPDATE: Apparently the embed function isn't working. We blame anybody but ourselves. Click here to watch.]
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↵During that stirring video, our fact checkers informed me that the young man in question was in fact Zack Asack, not Zack Attack. Zack Attack is a fictional teen band from the hit show Saved By The Bell about 17 years ago. They have also informed me that I watched far, far too much television as a child.↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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