If I Say This Is a Sport Then It Automatically Is

We're a little late on posting this, mainly on account of celebrating Memorial Day [You can't "celebrate" Memorial Day.-ed.] Oh? Why not, tough guy? [It's a holiday to remember fallen soldiers. It even says "memorial" in the title of it.--ed.] So? [So that's like me saying, I'm going to go celebrate at my dad's funeral. People don't do that.--ed.] Dude, your dad died? [You know what I mean. Just say you observed Memorial Day and move on.--ed.] Whatever. Barbecues are for celebrating.
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↵But we digress [Indeed we do.--ed.]. This 25th of May marked the blerzillionth annual Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling Festival. That is all you need to know before watching and enjoying (quite SFW, all things considered, but there's three seconds of a guy in one of those Borat over-the-shoulder-manthong things; if that would really get you in trouble, just skip over 1:42-1:45):
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↵What? It's people running, there's a finish line, and rugby players waiting at the end to slow people down with a friendly tackle. How is that not a sport? There's even injuries! Whatever, go watch poker and spelling bees on ESPN instead, you heathens. This is so totally a sport.↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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