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This Dude Takes Beer Pong Much More Seriously Than Any of Your Frat Bros Ever Did

by Chris Mottram • May 5, 2009 11:00 AM EDT

There's a decent chance I'm better than you at beer pong. No, that’s not me bragging -- the contrary, in fact. I’m probably better than you because I was an undergrad for an extra three years, giving me much more practice than the average college student. This is not something I’m necessarily proud of, but hey, at least I took some sort of skill away from college. (Note: My extra practice may be rendered useless if you continued to play beer pong after college, in which case, how is unemployment treating you?)

You know who else is better than you at beer pong? Philadelphia-area resident Joseph B. Jimenez. But not because he’s actually a more skilled player than you, but because if you disagree with him over beer pong, he will shoot you:

Joseph B. Jimenez, 24, was charged with first-degree murder for allegedly fatally shooting his opponent, Scott Riley, 25, following a game of beer pong at a Bridgeport home Friday night. […]
According to court documents, Jimenez claimed that Riley had said, "Shoot me! Shoot me! You guys ain't got the b----!"

Jimenez pulled a .40-caliber Taurus handgun from his waistband and shot Riley once in the neck, police said.

The murder reportedly stemmed from an argument between the two about beer pong rules (rebuttals or elbow rule ... rebuttals or elbow rule ... I’m going with elbow rule), which has happened at just about every single party I’ve ever been to where beer pong was being played. Minus the murder part. Usually it just ends with two bros arguing over whose rules are more “whack” followed by a fist-pound and make-up.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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Comments

I think I’m going to have nightmares now.

by npcPronk29 on May 5, 2009 11:33 AM EDT reply actions

That looks like one very disturbed fella!! Now he will spend the rest of his worthless life behind bars on the TAX PAYERS dime!! Instead the punk should get a taste of his own medicine & be SHOT!!!!!!!!

by buckeyenut on May 5, 2009 11:55 AM EDT reply actions

why is this on sportingnews?

by egghead37921 on May 5, 2009 12:39 PM EDT reply actions

Corrupting something as pure as beer pong. Freakin’ Filthadelphia.

by MyBiznitchIsTheShiznit on May 5, 2009 12:50 PM EDT reply actions

Crack babies have birthdays to.

by steelerworthy on May 5, 2009 1:31 PM EDT reply actions

Amen to egghead. WTF is this doing on Sporting News??? This has nothing to do with sports.

by 1whiskey on May 5, 2009 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

If table tennis is considered a sport, then so too should beer pong.

by cmottram on May 5, 2009 2:19 PM EDT reply actions

WTF is this doing here?? Slow news day? Much like "dog show", "beer pong" is NOT a sport. Just another reminder that we need the death penalty restored.

by GreatBlueHeron on May 5, 2009 2:48 PM EDT reply actions

It’s Beirut not Beer Pong.

Also, the death penalty doesn’t stop violent crimes and it is also more expensive than the alternative.

by Bellhorn4MVP on May 5, 2009 3:24 PM EDT reply actions

b——! = beers?

by ZeusPearl on May 5, 2009 3:28 PM EDT reply actions

The death penalty is only more expensive because we make it more expensive by allowing way too many lengthy appeals and putting people on death row for 15-25 years. A sane society would get rid of this guy before 2010. Case closed.

by GreatBlueHeron on May 5, 2009 3:37 PM EDT reply actions