Martellus Bennett Runs With the Dinosaurs


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↵Dallas Cowboys TE Martellus Bennett just turned in a blog entry worthy of awards, or at least an honorary Masters of Fine Arts in Creative Writing. You're about to set food on a magical journey through time thanks to his candy-colored imagination ... and travelocity.com, of course. ↵
↵⇥So I was just chilling at the crib and i was thinking mann i need to get away, so i logged onto travelocity.com which is a awesome website by the way although i think its cheaper to go straight thru the airline website ↵⇥or orbitz.com. ↵
↵Other than being more expensive than other websites, it's awesome. What's important here is packing for this trip, something Bennett is so down with thanks to his skills as a packing ninja: ↵
↵⇥I began to pack my bag the items i included were my monkeys feet, the responses yall leave on my blog so that i can have a good laugh during the flight, a freebirds burrito, a kangaroo pouch to keep everything in, twitter because i love it, a lighter, butter knife, a spork (saved a lot of room i didn't have to pack a spoon and fork), a Harry Potter invisible cloak, a calling card, bag of twizzlers, a lavender pillow case, a #2 pencil and a bunch of clothes gotta be fresh. ↵
↵A lavender pillow case: both functional and stylish. (If you're comfortable enough in your masculinity to go with lavender. Martellus certainly is.) Our protagonist then hops on a floatplane, closes his eyes, and wakes up to find himself -- I am not exaggerating -- on an island full of dinosaurs with completely invented names. ↵
↵⇥I used my #2 pencil to carve my initials into the back of a Saurornithoides it slapped me with his tail so i slappedit back Ike Turner style and it took off running...Feeling Powerful I decided to chase a Rebbachisaurus it was fun because it couldn't see me until a Kentrosaurus stepped on the end of my cloak and pulled it off me. Then i thought to myself I'm the only black person on the island this couldn't be good. ↵
↵If this isn't the precis for the new Land of the Lost movie, I'm not seeing it. Just go read the whole thing and then try to deny you weren't transported for an instant to an island full of fictional dinosaur species and one brave and eccentric tight end scratching graffiti into their hides for a thrill. After this, I am now convinced both that Bennett has a legitimate writing talent, and that if you could see his soul's true form, it would look and sound a lot like this.
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↵(Martellus should also get an honorary degree in paleontology, as all of the dinosaurs listed here are totally real. We regret the error.)
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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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