Updated throughout the day with quick takes from staff.
You have some time off now, and it may be time to re-evaluate your fertility treatments. After all, Human Chorionic Gonadotropin -- the drug that got you banned -- is forbidden by MLB, and if that lack of bump underneath your jersey is any indication, it isn't working, either. :-( That's okay! There are many other options in your road to motherhood. Here are just a few:
1. Relax. Are you under any stress? Consider taking a long vacation and just focusing on living every day. You have to take one anyway, so why not?
2. Take prenatal vitamins. A little folic acid can go a long way. Considering you're familiar with taking daily supplements already, this should be no problem.
3. Wear something sexy. Sometimes getting in the mood can make all the difference. The lacier, the better.
4. Ignore the tests. Since if you're taking enough HCG to test positive on a drug screen, you'd probably give a false positive on a pregnant test. (HCG is one of the markers home pregnancy tests use.)
Just remember that a man taking a drug prescribed for women to treat infertility isn't a sign of a man seeking to cover the feminizing effects of an intense anabolic steroid cycle. No, this is about building the most important muscle of all, and we both know it. That muscle is the heart, Manny, and together we'll help you give it the ultimate workout: parenthood.
It's okay. No, really. I always get teary at moments like this. I'll be fine in a minute.
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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As a fellow man who is unable to bear a child, I am both offended and inspired by this post.
by JGinsberg on May 8, 2009 5:16 PM EDT reply actions
Say what you will about Super Manny, but know that:
A) Until proven otherwise, the best way to beat a curse is to import a couple of hulking Dominican behemoths to bash 40 HRs a year.
B) By taking those drugs into his system, Manny took them off the streets, where they might have fallen into the hands of children.
C) My childhood would have been a lot happier if Yaz and Carlton Fisk possessed the courage to Get Big.
D) Future generations will note with disdain that- back in the day- you get 50 games for ingesting a drug that is pretty much the opposite of Harmful, while getting maybe a 5 game hit for charging the mound and trying to kill the pitcher with your bare hands.
E) Steroid use should bear an * of a much smaller size than those that should be next to the names of men like cobb and ruth, who played in a segregated league.
by Raisin' up off the cot on May 8, 2009 7:11 PM EDT reply actions
Actually hCG can be taken by otherwise healthy men to raise sperm counts. Now, I’m not defending Manny. In fact I hate the Dodgers ("Is that you and Tommy Lasorda?, I hate Tommy Lasorda") and there is a 99.9999% chance that Manny is a roid user but what if he really does have a "personal health issue" and it is because he is taking hCG to raise his sperm count?
by NevadaBlue on May 9, 2009 11:22 AM EDT reply actions
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