There's a DaMarcus Beasley Analogy In Here

I've been frustrated with whichever B-list director FIFA has sent down to the Confederations Cup. B-list director guy has a penchant for long, long shots of impassive coaches or South African guys in enormous hats acting like they're on speed, showing them in lieu of, you know, the game.

It's one thing to get caught too long on a replay. It's entirely another to spend 30 seconds going OMG VUVUZELA* while interesting things are actually happening on the field. And it's a third thing entirely to linger on a coach who is reacting in no way whatsoever. At that point you might as well show a still shot of a mannequin.

But many sins can be forgiven this man for capturing a strange little person during yesterday's Brazil-Italy match. Prepare to be mesmerized:

We finally have an answer for "is there anyone Bob Bradley would start Freddy Adu over?" Unless the child's husky stare proves hypnotizing to the opposition, it's him.

*("Take away the vuvuzela," says AP sports writer Raf Casert, "and you take away the essence of the South African football fan." Mr. Casert, this is the idea. When your essence consists of 90 minutes of pointless insectoid droning, it should be taken away from you and locked in a box until such time as you are not annoying the entire world.)

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.