Celtics-Pistons Rumor Makes Little Sense

Welcome to America! This is your morning! Here is the latest big, bad story comin' down the pike to set the interwebs on fire. From Yahoo! Sports:

The Boston Celtics appear willing to make major roster changes to balance a chance for a championship run and future financial flexibility. The Celtics offered Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo to the Detroit Pistons for a package that included Richard Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince and Rodney Stuckey, league sources told.

But wait ...

Boston general manager Danny Ainge and Detroit’s Joe Dumars never spoke, but rather the Celtics had a lower-level executive make the pitch to a Pistons official over the past weekend, league sources said. Detroit immediately rejected the idea, and it never advanced to the two top executives speaking about particulars.

And then, from Ainge over at the Celts' Twitter:

"I'm not sure why his [name] is popping up, but we love Rajon. It doesn't seem like you have to have any source any more (to report rumors) ... I've heard speculation we're dissatisfied with him; we're gonna trade him because he was late for a playoff game? That's not true. The first criteria that any trade rumor has to pass: Is it going to help us win a championship this year?"

So, in the immortal words of that nice old lady, WHERE IS THE BEEF!!?!??!?

On top of the phantom rumor—yes, that's so redundant you might puke on sight—there's the utter implausibility of it. As Ainge suggests, you want a trade to make a championship more likely. The Celtics have already won a ring with Rondo. He was a borderline All-Star this past season, and during the playoffs, often played like an effin' sun god.

May I also take this chance to remind you of a certain dumbest trade rumor ever? This is all based on mist and nothingness, faulty chronology, and the weird idea that the Celtics, one year removed from a title and with their youngsters improving, would want to import half the Pistons just to get out from under Ray Allen's salary.

Boston is in the enviable position of having a bright future to go along with their vets. Maybe Allen is disposable, but who else is going to sink threes? More to the point, wouldn't a merger of old and new, all of whom know each other but now are on equal footing, give them a good shot at another title? Now contrast that with dumping their best young player, and a key vet, and in exchange getting a bunch of Pistons who might not even get along with Garnett.

Let's put it this way: If all is smoke, and indeed Rondo is on the block, Ainge goes back to a Class-A moron. However, I find that less likely than the possibility that, out of sheer lazines, this story just refuses to fall on its own grenade like it should. Reporters, stop it! All you're doing is confusing the kids and alarming old people. Can we just calm down until there's something that makes some sense there to reckon with?

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