Brock Lesnar Hasn't Seen Charles Barkley Lately

Brock Lesnar must live in a different neighborhood than I do. I live in Atlanta, a half black, half white Southern city where everyone is, for the most part, fatter than the average person. Regardless of color, this is a city of mostly out-of-shape people, including black guys, who look just as busted up as anyone else with half a gut hanging over the belt of their pants on an Atlanta street.

Lesnar, though, must live next to a colony of black bodybuilders who dine exclusively on creatine shakes and whole flanks of raw bison.

"I bet you I've taken over 60 steroid tests," he noted. "In college I had 15 random drug tests in two years. I've taken drug tests for the NFL, the WWE, the UFC. I must be pretty good at masking steroids. God gave me this body: Are you jealous of it or what? Give me a break. I got the genetics of—not to get into racism or anything— but I'm built like a black man. Would you say so?"

You know, he's right. Let's let's quit being so politically correct. Black athletes are clearly more muscular. I mean, there are so many examples of this being true, and I'm just tired of people trying to keep me from telling the truth. You know what else I hate? Those people who tell me I have to "wear pants," or "use turn signals", or "pay my taxes," or that I can't take my gun into a strange elementary school when I want to wander the hallways for no reason in particular staring at other people's children.

Lesnar also has opinions on the President, who by Lesnar's logic should have a 40 inch neck and the ability to squat like Pat Robertson.

"When you get money and you've never had it before, maybe you want to show it off," Lesnar stated. "I acted foolishly." He noted that he owned four homes, a private plane, two Hummers, and a Mercedes. When asked if he had put money away and if he could retire today, he replied, "That's private. But if Obama keeps spending our money like this, I'll have to fight till I'm 50."

Let's see: discussion of racism, check; invocation of the name of Barack Obama, check. Let's turn this over to our commenters and see what happens. I'm sure it will all result in quality discussion and hugs and cake afterwards!

(H/T to Sportress of Blogitude)

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.