Dine and Dash Was a Better Nickname Anyway

Chris Johnson announced the end of the NFL's most important non- official, non-binding, and possibly stolen nickname yesterday, proclaiming the end of the the Smash and Dash era at Tennessee. This is fine, because Dine and Dash was a much better nickname for the duo of Johnson and LenDale White, anyway.

Johnson has a lot of thoughts on this, but essentially it comes down to, you know, being his own person, getting a loft downtown, working on his music again, getting back in touch with himself, and seeing other people. He just has to be his own person, you know? It has nothing to do with all that weight you've gained, LenDale. Really. It's not you, it's Chris. You're just as beautiful as ever, LenDale, it's just that Chris wants to be himself, and that requires him sleeping with other nicknames.

"Smash and Dash have had a divorce — that's official," Johnson said. "I have to be my own guy, so no more Smash and Dash, that was last year. Every Coach's Dream, that's me. Because they say every team has its own identity. I feel for me, I can't be noticed as a group any more. I am my own guy."

LenDale White will now have to spend a day in his pajamas weeping over the split, and then come up with his own nickname to make Chris Johnson's hotter, younger nickname jealous. Unfortunately, "The Gravy Train" doesn't have quite the same ring to it, and that's all he's got for the moment.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.