Drew Rosenhaus Prefers Sprints on the Beach, Not Long Walks, with His Clients

Like most of you, I got interested in sports not because of the amazing physical exploits of body-is-a-temple athletes, nor because of the vicarious thrill of competition that makes your heart beat like a grandfather clock on HGH, but because of the lawyers. Ideally, the day will come when sports will be purged of all athletes, and only lawyers will remain, negotiating contracts for other lawyers to get paid by owner/lawyers for competing against rival lawyers while being egged on by lawyer cheerleaders showing beautiful lawyer skin to drunk-on-Nexis lawyer fans. ↵

↵Drew Rosenhaus seems to be doing his level best to bring that day about. Fresh off last week's news that the super agent is now helping the Florida Panthers promote ticket sales, Rosenhaus has spent this week trumpeting the fact that he also works out with his clients. Driveway sit-ups have got to be next. ↵

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↵"I ran 40 110 yard sprints today with several of my clients," he wrote on his Twitter feed earlier this week. "There is no better way to spend time with our clients." ↵

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↵Who apparently feel likewise. ↵

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↵"Getting ready to do am hour jog along the beach with Drew Rosenhaus, only agent that trains with his players, WOW!" Chad Ochocinco tweeted last night. ↵

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↵Jogs on the beach? Well, anyone can do that. What Rosenhaus really needs to do is perform grueling NFL conditioning tests with his players, and then talk about it on the radio. Done and done. ↵

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↵"I'm a pretty avid runner, conditioning-wise, so I actually go out and run things like 110s with guys," he told WQAM this week. "It's God's honest truth. 300-yard shuttles. Yesterday we did the Saints' conditioning test, myself and Jeremy Shockey, which are three 300-yard shuttles that you have to run, each one in under 54 seconds, and you get a two-minute break between them. The day before I ran 110s with Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens. It's been a blast. It keeps me in shape, man." ↵

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↵Rosenhaus also said that he prevented Ochocinco and Owens from running a 40-yard race after their three-man workout, because "we've gotta put this on TV, so save it for another time." At least physical activity doesn't dull his instincts. ↵

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↵But honestly, who the hell wants to watch Ochocinco and Owens race on TV? That's so 2008. What we all really want to see is lawyers running, ideally shirtless lawyers. (Rosenhaus has already been featured shirtless in Muscle & Fitness.) Somebody wake me when Boras and Rosenhaus are doing 300-yard shuttles on TV. Can't be more than a few months away. ↵

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↵For more of Dan Steinberg, visit his blog with The Washington Post, D.C. Sports Bog. ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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