The Observer is Watching You, Mr. President

You must appreciate Fox for this: while every other network will attempt to coyly deny what they are and put little subtle plugs in the breaks between innings or quarters, Fox puts themselves on that corner in the finest lycra miniskirt and admits precisely what they are for all the world to see. If you just imagined Tim McCarver in lipstick asking "Got a date tonight, John?" then you're a very, very sick individual. And if you just imagined that after reading that, then: you're welcome.

That is the guy who plays "The Observer," a character on Fringe, some Fox show I don't watch because they advertise in the middle of FOX! sports broadcasts, and my reaction to this kind of whorish marketing is to let my middle finger speak for itself and watch something else.

Fortunately for me, the only time I'm forced at gunpoint to watch FOX! is when they carry BCS games, which they seem to plan three days beforehand and thus miss the planning necessary to plug FOX! shows by planting people in the stands. As for baseball fans...my deepest sympathies. Not only do you have a sport that insists on kicking you in the acorns daily with steroid scandals and mismanagement on a gross and epic scale, your primary provider of national televised events of choice is busy ruining broadcasts with Tim McCarver and ham-handed network plugs clumsily woven into the fabric of the broadcast itself. Here's a hug. And a card from the NFL, who's ready to talk about loving you properly whenever you are.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.