Montana Tech's Coach Speaks Real Frontier Gibberish

Montana Tech Orediggers football coach Bob Green, teach me your ways. Tell me where the jewel of knowledge rests; help me pluck it from that place, so that I might be able to spout folksy wisdom and colorful Western idioms effortlessly, and to speak at no less than 70 decibels while doing so.

It's not new: in fact, this video was made sometime in 2007, meaning Green has had time to paint the air with even more beautifully colored phrases than "Like a homely girl on her honeymoon...WORKING HARD." Those all-caps are mine and added for emphasis, but it is only fitting since Green uses them in his own quotes about his football team.

According to Green, "I believe that there will be some big plays on offense and defense. Our guys have had an outstanding series of spring practices, and are excited to play a game. LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED!"

Someone hire this man and bring him into FBS football. Put him and Mike Leach in a room with Houston Nutt and Bobby Bowden, turn on the mikes, and the quotes in the collected dictaphones will feed a platoon of reporters for a month. You want job creation? Put that in a stimulus bill, and I'll press the yes button on my voting station 'till my finger falls off.

(HT: FOTP.)

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.