Ricky Williams Will Now Be Known As Errick the Massage Ninja

Ricky Williams is the son your dad always wanted to have in at least two regards: he is athletically gifted, and he's learning a trade for the future just in case he needs something to fall back on after football. Ironically, it seems to require far more study than anything Lenny Dykstra claimed to be doing in his post-baseball career as a financial whiz kid. It should also be mentioned that like Donald Trump, Dykstra appeared to be living out some kind of exaggerrated fantasy of what being wealthy is like, and is now living on a healthy and nutritious diet of lawsuits and foreclosed cheese.
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↵(I don't know how you foreclose on cheese, but if Dykstra's situation is as dire as it seems, creditors will have to seize the Maytag Blue out of the fridge to recoup costs.)
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↵The contrast here is Ricky Williams, the extremely organic-minded running back for the Miami Dolphins who already has his post-career career mapped out. He's going to be a massage therapist, which is normal. He also has a special massage ninja code name. That is not so normal.
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↵⇥He was. And still is. But Ricky, he says, is "tainted," because of the name-tag baggage that comes with the NFL suspensions. And he's always felt Ricky was a kid's name. So in certain circles he's Errick. ↵⇥"If I introduce myself as Errick, and someone calls me, 'Ricky,' I usually correct them," he says. "I'll say, 'I didn't introduce myself to you as that. Please call me Errick.' " ↵
↵Certainly, Errick. I would like you in return to call me "Irvin Bumppo the Eighth," and to pronounce it in full each time we talk. I'm sorry, I don't know a Spencer, Errick. Perhaps you mean Mr. Bumppo the 3rd. He's right here and waiting to hear his proper name addressed to him...Errick.
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↵As far as I know, massage therapists are not drug tested as a matter of policy, and therefore probably could pursue recreational marijuana use with impunity. I can't say the same about crystal meth, but if Jeremy Mayfield decides to follow the same post-sport career path, he could probably get the 80 massages required to finish his license in a matter of hours. The recipients would all have deep bruises from their backs and whiplash from the massages, but they'd get done in a NASCAR minute.↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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