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Oh, Let Me Get That for You, What with My Nuclear Laser Rocket Legs

by Adam Jacobi • Jul 18, 2009 5:52 PM EDT

This is reportedly "FC Flora" beating "Brondby" 1-0; more precisely, it's the single goal of the match. That's what the YouTube info says, and we'll just take their word for it. Also totally unverifiable: the scorer is Tõnis Vanna, and we're not even going to hazard a guess as to what language that is.

But language is but a mere detail to Vanna, as he much prefers to communicate through HOLY PIPE-SMOKING JESUS WEARING A TWEED JACKET WHAT IS THIS GUY'S LEG MADE OUT OF?



Aha. Weapons-grade plutonium with a millimeter-true tracking device it is, I see. Even Vanna's teammates are in utter disbelief; check out the nearly orgasmic reaction from one teammate (whose name I'm sure is also both unspellable and unpronounceable) at 0:40. 

And yet this goal happens in front of what appears to be a crowd of literally, um, multiple people. Really, [undetermined European country]? The Liquid T-1000 Terminator In Cleats shows up and starts spraying superhuman goals all over the place, and you can't even put a couple hundred butts in the seats? Ingrates, the lot of you!

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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