Media Days: Bobby Petrino To Enter In Coffin

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. -- It is time again for the three-day golf junket/turbo schmooze that passes for the SEC Media Days. In case you wonder whether we have completely discarded the fig leaf and are running nakedly through the wilderness as a professional sports league in disguise as a college sports conference, this single image should answer that question completely and in total: ↵

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↵ESPNABCSECWTOIMFWTFOMG. The Borg has recruited the SEC in part, even though CBS still holds the title of "top-shelf provider of SEC spirits" on Saturdays. ↵

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↵Besides congratulating each other on still having job s-- and I am not making that up -- the collected members of the media are here to ask pressing questions of the assembled players and coaches. For instance, Bobby Petrino will be here and is first up at noon ET, where the assembled waddling sportswriters of the SEC will ask critical questions like, "Do you think you'll be good?" and "Was it hard having your team play the part of Edward Norton in the shower scene from American History X in the league last year." They should be asking things like "Does the sensational depiction of your people in the HBO series True Blood offend you," but that's in my perfect world, and will never happen. ↵

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↵This all depends on if Petrino gets a better offer to appear at another league's media days, which could very well happen. (Jimmy Sexton, his agent, had no comment in a phone interview I just completely made up.) Also on the docket today will be Rich Brooks of Kentucky, Bobby Johnson of Vanderbilt, and Dan Mullen of Mississippi State, who should be instantly recognizable by the stream of stunned tears coming down his face constantly since taking the SEC's hardest rebuilding job in Starkville. I'll try to offer him a tissue if possible. ↵

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↵ I'll be tweeting during SEC Media days. You can follow me @edsbs. ↵ ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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