Australia, Where Mascots Can Be Men

Australia is on such a long winning streak of awesome I can't even be bothered to calculate it. First they build a civilization in the middle of a desert waste populated by 37 kinds of deadly snakes, some of which can fly and operate firearms simultaneously. Then they decide this isn't hard enough, so they start helicopter fishing and making such tender rom-coms like Mad Max and The Road Warrior. Then, they bring us Kylie Minogue and Outback Steakhouse.*  As a civilization, I'm pretty sure they've already accomplished more than the Roman Empire and the Chin Dynasty combined, and did it all with a nasty sunburn and a crocodile clamped onto one buttock. Amazing by any standards, really. ↵

↵Even their sports mascots forge bold new ground in the field of Rampant Badassery. To wit: the Manly Sea Eagles Mascot wrecking someone after they refused to check themselves: ↵

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↵ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵⇥ ↵ ↵
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↵"I flapped me wings and gave him whatfor." The fan should have known his history, as the Manly Sea Eagle mascot has a whole can of whatfor he previously opened on the Rabbitohs mascot in a 2007 fight he clearly won by unanimous decision. (Listen for the fans verdict. It is clear, and NSFW.) ↵

↵I've said it before, and in light of this new evidence, I will say it again: Australia remains the last and best hope for humanity as we know it. ↵

↵

↵If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lift weights in the Outback while being attacked by a horde of dingoes. ↵

↵

↵(H/T to Busted Coverage) ↵

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↵  ↵

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↵*You and I both know Outback is based in Tampa, but I reject your reality, and substitute my own. ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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