Mount Failmore: Worst. Coaches. Ever.

↵Sporting News ran its 50 greatest coaches list on Wednesday. There was more than a little debate on the topic -- not just on SN, but other sites as well. But that was all too lovey dovey for our crotchety bunch, so we decided to put together a diss track of sorts and come up with the worst coaches, as compiled by some of TSB's finest ... who saw my e-mail at least. (And because I'm culling these all together, I won't be putting my own three in, and will instead submit one: David Shula, who was the first of many "brilliant" moves by Mike Brown as Bengals owner.) Without further ado, three choices per person all vying for the worst coach ever, in no particular order. ↵

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↵Spencer Hall ↵

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↵Bill Callahan: Callahan was particularly wondrous in not only not changing the signals before a Super Bowl despite the other coach being his former boss who knew the entire system, but for his limpid performance as Coach at Nebraska, where the crowning achievement of his career may be calling Oklahoma fans "f----- hillbillies" post-game. ↵

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↵Isiah Thomas: No explanation necessary. If we could award Thomas some kind of triple crown for ineptitude as a GM, Coach and owner, we would. Naturally, it would be called the "Isiah." ↵

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↵Ray Goff: Watching Ray Goff coach football was like watching a colorblind man tackle a Rubik's Cube. ↵

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↵Dan Levy ↵

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↵David Shula: He coached in 71 games and won just 19 of them. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but this apple seemed to fall and roll away. Far, far away. ↵

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↵Herm Edwards: He'll be most known for his impassioned 'you play to win the game' speech. Too bad he can't coach as well as he can talk. In eight years, Edwards winning percentage is just .422 and is 2-4 in his six playoff games in that span. While he does have four winning seasons on his resume, he has twice as many years with double-digit losses than wins. ↵

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↵Rich Kotite: Never has a coach seemed more befuddled as the man in charge. After two winning seasons in Philly, with just one playoff appearance, Kotite finished his head coaching career with a 19-45 record in his last four. Kotite was never well liked in Philadelphia, but his stint with the Jets (4-28 in two seasons) might qualify him as the most reviled coach ever. ↵

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↵Dan Steinberg ↵

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↵Steve Spurrier with the Redskins: Instead of taking the cash and just not caring, he openly admitted as much to SI, saying "Toward the middle of that second year I was like Jo Dee Messina and her song My Give a Damn's Busted. Toward the end there, my give a damn was busted." ↵

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↵Rick Venturi: 2-17 in interim roles with the Colts and Saints, and 1-31-1 at Northwestern, helping the Wildcats to a 34-game losing streak. Combined, that's a winning percentage of 0.058. ↵

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↵Joe Quinn: Australian-born manager led Cleveland Spiders to 12-104 record in 1899. No Aussie has ever gotten another MLB shot. ↵

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↵Dave "Large" Larzelere ↵

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↵Ol' Decline the Penalty and Punt Rich Kotite: Easily the worst coach of anything in the last 30 years. No list of terrible coaches is complete without him. My only consolation on his involvement with the Eagles was that after his deteriorating tenure in Philly, the Jets hired him. ↵

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↵Aaron Snowell: Not a coach, but a trainer, which in boxing is the same diff. Snowell took over as Mike Tyson's trainer after Tyson's Night of the Long Knives paranoia led him to get rid of Kevin Rooney, which was the final nail in the coffin of Mike's career. The incompetence of Mike's corner in the Buster Douglas fight unquestionably played a huge role in what remains the biggest upset in the history of sports. And the sight of Snowell frantically rubbing what appeared to be a plastic glove inflated with cold water on Mike's swollen face (because they didn't even have an Enswell on them) is one of the true images of flummoxed panic ever witnessed in a boxing match. ↵

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↵Trevor Graham: Track coach who turned on a generation of American stars - Marion Jones, Justin Gatlin, Tim Montgomery, Antonio Pettigrew, etc., etc. - to human growth hormone. He's like the meth-dealer who hangs around the high school parking lot and all the kids think is really rad. One of the most nefarious influences on American sport ever. ↵

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↵Brian Cook ↵ ↵

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↵John L Smith - though he's had more success than a number of guys on the list -- he was the guy that originally turned Louisville into a team worth noticing -- style points count. Smith's tenure at Michigan State was marked by three separate flag-planting incidents, one of which nearly devolved into an all-out brawl, press conference self-slapping, and halftime blowups. By the time he was done he'd fallen so far that the best he can do now is Arkansas special teams coach under former protege Bobby Petrino. ↵

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↵Brian Ellerbe: Again, style points count. Not only did Ellerbe saddle Michigan with a roster and program that were so dire Michigan decided to give Tommy Amaker six full years in a futile attempt to turn things around, but he recruited three of the four guys (Maurice Taylor, Robert Traylor, and Louis Bullock) who would land Michigan's program in hot water with the NCAA. It takes some doing to go from back-to-back final fours to a ten-year NCAA tourney drought; Ellerbe set the table. ↵

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↵Lane Kiffin: Trust us. ↵

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↵Bethlehem Shoals ↵

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↵Bob Hill: Card tricks are the worst possible combination of pandering and patronizing. ↵

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↵P.J. Carlesimo: The disposable "bad cop" of NBA coaches. ↵

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↵Tim Floyd: Patron saint of not getting it at the pro level. ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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