Nick Saban Thanks Powerade in this Prayer

For $4 million, you get a lot of things from your coach. You get 20 hours of constant, focused effort a day. You get endless film study and recruiting so relentless Rick Neuheisel would say you're overdoing it a bit. You get the kind of attention to detail that makes secretaries weep, janitors double scrub the baseboards for fear a 3 a.m. inspection will result in a vicious tirade the next day, and can make grown men cry. You get the full force manstorm that is Nick Saban, all 5-foot-7 of him, and you get it right in the face for as long as you're signing the checks.*

Don't say he's not tender, though. Like Ricky Bobby before him, Nick Saban will sign babies.

That's a tattoo gun, by the way, not a pen, but never mind. So compelling is the aura surrounding Saban that the child sits quiet as a lamb while Saban tattoos "The Process" on her leg. Later, it will be discovered that the child is immune to radiation, can play a perfect free safety in a Cover 2 scheme, and has no need for sleep, companionship, or food other than Oatmeal Creme Pies. When she takes the oath of office to become Alabama's first female governor after a successful career as the only woman to play in the NFL** while teaching physics full-time at Cal Tech, you'll know where it all started.

*Offer not valid if pursued by particularly alluring pro program.
**Besides Jeff George

(H/T to Friends of the Program on the picture.)

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