Updated throughout the day with quick takes from staff.
If ESPN was a person with a strange fetish it would be exhuming things
and making detailed copies of the rotted corpse of something people used
to like. And then it would probably be in a Dane Cook/Kevin Costner
vehicle that my mother would show at Thanksgiving once, to the awkward
stupefaction of all.
Right. Anyway, this is why I anthropomorphize the leader so:
... Kenny Chesney ... has written a song exclusively for ESPN’s college football game and studio telecasts during Dick’s Sporting Goods Kickoff Week (Sept. 3-7) and Championship Saturday (Dec. 5) as well as select contests throughout the season and bowl games. ESPN will have the exclusive premiere of the song during its pregame show Thursday, Sept. 3, at 7 p.m.
Awful Announcing, via which this news comes, thinks this is a good idea despite its name, because college football fans are hicks:
If you ask me, this move is genius. Especially when you consider the amount of games ESPN broadcasts in the South. You may not enjoy Country music yourself, but there are almost three times as many Country stations in America, compared to any other genre.
To which I say these things: that's only because country* fans can't figure out iPods, and is it my imagination or did everyone loathe that Big & Rich song? Also, this is a genius move for ESPN if only because of the accounting; dollars to donuts this Chesney fellow's label is paying for the privilege of driving us all crazy for the next four months. Another reason to wish for the swift implosion of the RIAA and all that support it.
This thing is called "This Is Our Moment." You know it will be terrible. You know it in your bones. Hank Williams Jr. has purchased a grave so he can get in it and spin around on September 3rd at seven in the evening, after which he will enjoy some tea. I am anticipating this with dread. I watch inhuman amounts of college football and now Kenny Chesney is going to be following me around telling me this is my moment. I will catch myself at the supermarket humming it once and attempt to slit my throat with smoked salmon. (If you've got to go, go high class.) Then I'll sit in a bathtub sobbing to myself on Thursday night because I want to watch the Virginia Tech game but can't.
At least it will be better than last year, I guess.
*(Read: pre-fab major label "country" fans, please. I have no beef with country produced by ugly people or Neko Case. Ugly people country is great.)
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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the prior big and rich opus was **** near intollerable. enter cowboy troy, and the experience degenerated into torture.
but yet somehow the cia is under investigation…..
by psudrozz on Aug 27, 2009 4:18 PM EDT reply actions
Great. Another hillbilly sets out to drive innocent fans to the bottle. Big and Rich and the horrendous John Cougar Mellenhead ditty were not enouh, obviously. No, we better get Kenny Chesney – music’s version of a lingering toothache – to warble about college football. Will ESPN ever learn? Does everything have to be Hollywood’ed up?
by ChiAdam on Aug 27, 2009 5:28 PM EDT reply actions
Funny article, though.
by ChiAdam on Aug 27, 2009 5:30 PM EDT reply actions
Country music has had MNF for a decade, easy…. give Sunday night to Amy Winehouse or Lil’ Wayne or something.
I’d actually vote for G.G. Allin (New Hampshire’s greatest athlete), but he was apparently on God’s list.
by L'etat, c'est moi on Aug 27, 2009 6:31 PM EDT reply actions
Say what you want but Kenny is one of the best entertainers around and I for one am excited to see him doing something for the best sport in the country. Are you upset at country music just because you can actually understand the lyrics or maybe because most people can actually relate to the messages that these great country songs bring? Don’t you have better things to do than write an article criticizing the most talented country music performer there has ever been?
by IM4WVU on Aug 28, 2009 6:24 AM EDT reply actions
I’m old enough to remember espn before Disney got it’s hands on it and it was excellent! Now, the hype is beyond over-the-top. We’ve got theme songs and videos. College Game Day (build by the Home Depot) is unwatchable. Give me Charlie Rossen and some basic CG graphics with some real information and I’d be happy.
by stadium&main on Aug 28, 2009 8:02 AM EDT reply actions
The thing that is really unbelievable, though, is that Brian Cook actually GETS PAID for the stupid, irelevant, useless articles he writes. He is the luckiest man in the world, during these economic times, to be drawing a paycheck. Man the games can’t start fast enough.
by Clete-1 on Aug 29, 2009 2:19 PM EDT reply actions
This is why they make "mute" and "last channel" buttons. I haven’t seen a MNF intro in years, because as much as I might be ready for some football, I’ll never be ready for Hank Williams, Jr. or Kenny. Yes, I have spent my entire life in Alabama or North Carolina.
by heel9091 on Aug 31, 2009 11:19 PM EDT reply actions
Buy a tivo and fast forward through it. Go take a dump or something and skip it. Did you really need to write this, couldn’t you just say
"I hate country music and think country fans are stupid".
Yeah, they can’t figure out how to use ipods, real clever. You can’t figure out how to write a decent blog.
by Daviegator on Sep 1, 2009 9:51 AM EDT reply actions
Daviegator: Wondering if you took the time to read his footnote:
*(Read: pre-fab major label "country" fans, please. I have no beef with
country produced by ugly people or Neko Case. Ugly people country is great.)
by littmann.tsn on Sep 1, 2009 10:51 AM EDT reply actions
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