Shanoff's W.U.C.: Why John Hughes' "Bueller" Had Best Sports Fan Scene in Movie History

Today's Calls: John Hughes vs. Ferris Bueller, Red Sox vs. Yankees, David Ortiz vs. Rashard Lewis, Cliff Lee vs. NL Cy Young, Michael Crabtree vs. the 49ers, Delaware vs. the NCAA, Kevin Durant vs. 1990s rap homages and More. ↵

↵The Opening Pitch: Hey-eyyy ... battabattabattabatta ... suh-WEEENG batta. ↵

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↵Perhaps no more memorable movie lines about being a sports fan have ever been written. ↵

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↵He-can't-hit-he-can't-hit-he-can't-hit-he-can't-hit ... suh-WINNNG batta. ↵

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↵John Hughes died yesterday, and though his films were more about Midwestern suburban teen angst than anything, Hughes left his mark on memorable sports movie moments. ↵

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↵I would argue that the Cubs scene in "Ferris Bueller" is the most memorable sports scene in a non-sports movie in film history. Because, unlike most sports movies about players or coaches, the "Ferris" scene was about being a sports fan. ↵

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↵Consider that, given a day to play hooky from school, Ferris Bueller makes sure that at least one of his activities is a baseball game. What a testament to sports fandom. ↵

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↵And not just any baseball game, but a day game at Wrigley Field -- the ultimate fan hooky, whether you are a high school kid or just sitting in your office cubicle. He even catches a foul ball. ↵

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↵Then there is the trash-talk from the stands, rewritten above. Admit it: You have mimicked the line, either at a game or -- more likely -- you did it during your 1980s youth-league or college intramural softball games. (Especially if you were a kid in the 1980s, the cohort providing 90 percent of the nostalgia for Hughes in the last 24 hours.) ↵

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↵Meanwhile, principal/nemesis Ed Rooney is on Ferris' trail, standing at a pizza parlor counter where the game is on TV when Hughes delivers a four-line punch that summarizes every fan's frustration with non-fans: ↵

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↵Rooney says, "What's the score?" The pizza-place owner says, "Nothin'-nothin'." Rooney replies: "Who's winning?" The pizza guy deadpans: "The Bears." ↵

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↵(And don't forget tiny but terrific throwaway shot of the exterior of Wrigley Field, with the electronic billboard outside the stadium flashing "Save Ferris.") ↵

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↵The scene was about 30 seconds long; like any great movie scene, its relevance remains timeless. The film was set in the mid-1980s; that scene remains fresh 25 years later. ↵

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↵If you're going to a baseball game this weekend -- or just watching one at home on the couch -- don't forget to throw out a "Swingbattabattabattabatta-suhWINGbatta." ↵

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↵In honor of John Hughes. (Complete scene clip here.) ↵ ↵

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↵MLB Talking Points ↵

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↵• Don't read TOO much into Yanks finally beating Sox. ↵

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↵• Cliff Lee for NL Cy: 7 IP, 6 H, 1 ER, 9 K, W ↵

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↵• Walk-Off Watch: Ethier HR (His 5th W-O of '09). ↵

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↵• Been a while: Bruce Chen gets 1st win since '05. ↵

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↵• Fantasy Studs: Zimmerman/Dukes (7/8, 2 HR, 7 RBI, 5 R). ↵

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↵Papi to address media tomorrow: What are the chances he fully 'fesses up to cheating? More likely, we will get another "I am still looking into this" or the usual "Not my fault ... didn't know what I was taking ... trusted a friend ... yada yada yada ... positive PED test." ↵

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↵NFL Camping: Michael Crabtree wins the award for the Stupidest Idea of the Year. One of his entourage suggested that if Crabtree doesn't get paid -- more than his draft slot, mind you -- he would go back into the 2010 NFL Draft. Good luck with that. ↵

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↵Pats trade for DE Derrick Burgess, fleecing the Raiders (who were in a tough spot, because they didn't want to sign Burgess to a long-term deal). I cannot fathom anyone picking any team BUT the Pats to win the Super Bowl, presuming Brady's healthy. ↵

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↵Camp battles: Mark Sanchez took a big step to beating out Kellen Clemens and claiming the starting QB job for the Jets. Given the experience Rex Ryan had with Joe Flacco last year in Baltimore, you have to believe that if Sanchez is even in the same ballpark as Clemens, the rookie will get the start. ↵

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↵(At the other end of the spectrum, fans in Denver booed new starting QB Kyle Orton. Yikes.) ↵

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↵NBA "Scandal": Rashard Lewis suspended. Let's remember something critical about PEDs -- they are not about getting jacked; more than anything, they are about rapidly improving muscular recovery time. For an NBA player, that isn't an insubstantial thing. ↵

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↵Is PED use in the NBA more widespread than people know? Probably. All I know is that MLB continues to get shellacked for this, while the NFL is a league fueled by PEDs -- and fan/media apathy about it. (And you know what? The NFL fans are right; I just wish they would apply it to baseball, too.) ↵

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↵Retweet of the Day: From Slate sports editor @Josh_Levin: "NBA's Rashard Lewis suspended for steroid that's not banned by baseball. If DHEA was on MLB's list, that list of 104 would've been 1004." ↵

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↵LeBron talks dunk tape: "I never told anyone to confiscate any tapes." There you have it. But why wouldn't he say anything the day of? He's too media savvy not to. (Oh, and this: "I'm not ashamed of anything in Cleveland ... I'm looking forward to this season and we'll see what happens." Ringing endorsement of re-signing!) ↵

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↵CFB Top 25 Rankings: I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the Coaches are going to rank Florida at No. 1. The only question is whether it will be unanimous. I will say that Texas will get at least 3 votes. (Florida kicked off 2009 practice yesterday.) ↵

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↵Sports gambling in Delaware: Begins Sept. 1. And it is going to be a huge deal. Legal sports gambling in Delaware is the new fantasy football. (By the way, Delaware shouldn't expect to be granted rights to host any NCAA Tournament games.) ↵

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↵Athletes of the Decade: You saw my picks yesterday. Be sure to vote! ↵

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↵Must-See Video: Is it a shoe commercial? A rap video? A winking parody/homage of the early 1990s? Some kind of subversive performance art? The sleeper song of the summer? It is all those things and more. "Don't Criticize (Hyperize)" ↵

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↵The Last Word: "I don't want to run for Congress." -- Lou Holtz. Let's end the insanity now, please? ↵

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↵Dan Shanoff writes The Wake-Up Call every weekday morning for SportingNews.com and blogs daily at DanShanoff.com. Got any comments, questions or feedback? Email Dan at shanofftsn-[at]-gmail-[dot]-com. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/danshanoff. ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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