Beer: Working Financial Miracles and Making Life Livable

The debut of beer sales at Memphis football games led to the downfall of society in the Memphis metropolitan area, now a wasteland where once there was a thriving city, a harsh, Darwinian ruination ruled by wandering hordes of wild dogs and gangs of armed men in hockey masks.

I'm sorry. I meant to type "Everyone has more money now, you can drink beer at games, and a rainbow appeared spontaneously above the stadium in the middle of the game."

Beer sales totaled $114,576 after Sunday's opener, meeting 40% of the revenue goal the city had hoped to take in for the season to pay for recent stadium improvements. "We're tickled pink," said Memphis Mayor Pro Tem Myron Lowery.

Memphis AD RC Johnson doesn't like it, but has little say about it due to the Liberty Bowl being owned by the City of Memphis. USF, Tulane, and a handful of other schools allow for beer sales at their home games, but the majority of other college football teams don't, despite their being no specific rule banning alcohol sales at college football stadiums. One look at the Memphis experiment could have other cash-strapped schools thinking creatively in a recession that has diminished athletic budgets and forced cuts in non-revenue sports. And you'd drink a beer to save varsity women's volleyball, wouldn't you?