Quinn vs. Anderson -- An Exercise in Futility

T.O. knows. Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson know. So does the media covering the Cleveland Browns. It seems everybody knows now that Quinn will start the Browns' season opener.

But coach Eric Mangini still refuses to name a starting QB. Like Brittany Murphy in the 2001 thriller "Don't Say a Word," he refuses to divulge the only information about the Browns that people really want to know ("I'll never tell.").

We as fantasy owners would very much appreciate it for Magini to tell. This would help us decide whether to pick up either QB. Both could be a useful backup. With Jamal Lewis and Braylon Edwards around, Quinn or Anderson could be a decent fantasy starter in a pinch.

Because Mangini seems resigned not to tell, let's break down which QB would be a better pick-up right now:

--Pedigree

Quinn played at Notre Dame, stands 6-foot-3, hails from the Midwest and was once the Golden Boy of college football. Just like Rick Mirer...Anderson played at Oregon State, stands taller than 6-3, hails from the Pacific coast and was virtually unknown until his third year in the pros. Like Gary Payton...Advantage: Anderson.

--Secret shame

"Derek's ashamed to say he watches 'Laguna Beach,' " the Browns' team site says of Anderson. Quinn grew up rooting for the Browns. Advantage: Quinn, barely.

--Production

Anderson tossed 29 touchdown passes and was selected to play in the Pro Bowl in 2007. Quinn tore it up at Notre Dame against the likes of Navy, Army and Stanford. Advantage: Anderson

--Value as a keeper

Quinn was a Browns first-round NFL Draft pick, meaning the team will give him every opportunity to become the long-term starter (the Browns are not the Redskins). Anderson was discovered on the Oregon shore by The Goonies, amidst the wreckage of One-Eyed Willie's pirate ship. Despite the three-year contract he signed before last season, Cleveland would not be crushed to let him go. Advantage: Quinn.

--Namesakes

"Derek Anderson" was also a middling NBA shooting guard who won a collegiate national title at Kentucky. "Brady" and "Quinn" are the names of dozens of children born to Notre Dame alums between 2003-2006. Advantage: Push.

Conclusion: That's two categories for Quinn, two for Anderson and one push. So here's what you should do: Unless you're in a league where you start two QB's, don't pick up either one of them.