This Week In Schadenfreude: Sept. 21


↵
↵It's time for USC's annual trip to TWISland after losing to a ↵supposedly inferior Pac-10 team as three-score favorite. Welcome back, Trojans. We have your room all made up for you. It's ↵remarkable given USC's status as the undisputed team of the decade that ↵USC fans can deploy ↵this ↵sort of thing and get mostly nods: ↵
↵⇥i just can't get upset over it because I saw this coming. I was ↵⇥primed for it. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥I mean its not like we haven't been through it before so we will ↵⇥regroup and get back at it ↵
↵

↵That's a blog. Descend to the message boards, though, and um: ↵

↵
↵⇥The old Pete Carroll is back... ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Posted By: LaughingInEncino ↵⇥
↵⇥Date: 9/20/2009 6:12:16 PM ↵⇥Not the guy that put together the best coaching staff in college ↵⇥football. ↵⇥
↵⇥It's the guy that was run out of town on a rail at New England. ↵⇥
↵⇥He took a team that had gone to the Super Bowl and did nothing ↵⇥with them and drove all the fans crazy. ↵⇥
↵⇥Now, he has the most talent of any team in the country, and he ↵⇥keeps dropping games to UCLA, Oregon State, Stanford, and now ↵⇥Washington. ↵⇥
↵⇥I can see this team losing 4 games this year. ↵⇥
↵⇥The old Pete is back. ↵
↵

↵The rest of college football feverishly hopes this is the case, Mr. ↵Encino, but it probably isn't. A reply: ↵

↵
↵⇥This is the Pete Carroll offense ↵⇥

↵⇥Posted By: SCSmashmouth ↵⇥
↵⇥Date: 9/20/2009 7:02:14 PM ↵⇥

↵⇥Yes Petey it is all on you. Every year we see this same conservative ↵⇥approach to these Pac 10 games making them needlessly close or losing ↵⇥them outright. He continues to meddle with the offense producing crappy ↵⇥results. You would think he would learn by now that he isn't helping but ↵⇥he does it over and over and over. You know what they call doing the ↵⇥same thing over and over and yet expecting different results...insanity. ↵⇥No I'm not saying Pete is insane but he is one of the ↵⇥most stubbornly arrogant people I have ever seen. Maybe Clemente is ↵⇥right about him being as dumb as a door knob. ↵
↵

↵If USC fans are forced to declare that they're not suggesting ↵their coach is literally insane, what hope does Lane Kiffin or ↵the OBC have? Still, neither of these guys have anything on what appears ↵to be Wild West Sports board ↵nut "San Clemente," who is your Scott Tenorman of ↵the Week: ↵

↵

↵ ↵

↵
↵⇥The realists kept demanding Pete get some adults ↵⇥

↵⇥Posted By: San Clemente ↵⇥
↵⇥Date: 9/20/2009 5:40:28 PM ↵⇥

↵⇥

↵⇥...on his coaching staff. ↵⇥
↵⇥The error was that we believed Pete would, like in the past, let ↵⇥the grownups do their job. All he did was just went out and got more ↵⇥yes-men. ↵⇥
↵⇥He got a yes-man to run his offense HIS WAY. He got a special ↵⇥teams yes-man that did special teams Pete's way. ETC. ↵⇥

↵⇥

↵⇥We demanded change because Pete's system wasn't working. If you look ↵⇥back on it he never really said he was going to change anything. We just ↵⇥assumed it. That was our mistake. We believed the offense might be in ↵⇥better hands. Turns out it's in the same hands with the same choke ↵⇥collar. ↵⇥

↵⇥As long as Pete Checkers con artist control freak Carroll is head ↵⇥coach. It's Pete's way or the highway. Lets just hope Pete gets players ↵⇥that fit his cemented system and that USC gets lucky with turnovers. ↵⇥Maybe there is another Reggie Bush out there to pull our fat out of the ↵⇥fire again. Hope and luck is really our only chance until Pete leaves. ↵⇥sc ↵
↵

↵Pete Carroll's winning percentage (85.7%) is the best active ↵mark in I-A; USC is your Tears of Unfathomable Sadness ↵Award recipient for Week 3. ↵

↵ ↵

ACC

↵

↵Boston College fans probably weren't expecting much ↵given the Michigan-2008-esque selection of walk-ons and freshmen ↵competing to "win" the quarterback job this year, but they ↵probably expected more than 49 yards of total offense and complete ↵annihilation at the hands of Clemson. Unfortunately for this column, BC ↵blogs tend towards the cerebral instead of entertainingly in need of ↵anger management courses. The horror show they witnessed Saturday, ↵however, got danders ↵at least slightly up. ↵

↵
↵⇥I am very concerned and upset about the offense. ↵
↵

↵Very slightly. This is probably the first time in the ↵history of TWIS I've ever said this: dude, why aren't you angrier? I ↵mean, I'm running through game threads -- always the bastion of pure id -- and ↵all I can think to myself is "that is a reasonable ↵response to the things you are watching": ↵

↵
↵⇥
At 2:08 ↵⇥PM, Blogger Bravesbill ↵⇥said...

↵⇥
This has to be a big joke. The offense ↵⇥can't be this bad can it? They wouldn't even be able to put points up ↵⇥against Temple the way they are playing now. ↵⇥
↵
↵

↵Yep, pretty much. ↵

↵
↵⇥
At 2:24 ↵⇥PM, Blogger Lindsay ↵⇥said...

↵⇥
I think this rain delay is God taking ↵⇥pity on a Jesuit school, lol. (Some time to re-group and at least figure ↵⇥out how to get ONE first down.) This is beyond pathetic. We know we have ↵⇥serious problems when the only offensive plays of note we've seen all ↵⇥day were Matty Ice clips from PAST games during the pre-game show. ↵⇥
↵
↵

↵This person blew all their sympathy by referring to Matt Ryan as ↵"Matty ↵Ice" and self-loling, but "beyond pathetic" seems an ↵apt description of 49 yards of offense. ↵

↵

↵Meanwhile, Maryland just lost to Middle Tennessee ↵State for the second consecutive year, causing Shell Games to make ↵the obvious point: ↵

↵
↵⇥
Middle Tennessee Freaking State Freaking Owns Freaking ↵⇥Maryland
↵
↵

↵ESPN, feel Terrapin wrath: ↵

↵
↵⇥So I should probably mention that I didn't actually watch the game, ↵⇥mainly because it will be a cold wet day in Hades before I cough up any ↵⇥money to the Evil Sports Programming Network for ESPN360.com. They could ↵⇥put the Super Bowl on there and I still wouldn't pony up. F--- them. ↵⇥That's right. F--- you, ESPN. F--- ESPN360.com. And f--- this f----- up ↵⇥ACC TV deal. You want my wallet, you pry it out of my dead hand.
↵⇥
↵⇥Whoa. Okay. Breathe. I'm a little angry. ↵
↵

↵Yes. You are channeling Steve ↵Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles (NSFW!). You are a little ↵angry. ↵

↵

BIG EAST

↵

↵I love West Virginia losses strictly for professional ↵reasons: ↵

↵
↵⇥

WVU COST ME $4000 TONIGHT :( 

↵⇥
↵⇥I NEEDED THEM FOR $4050 +7.5 ↵⇥
↵⇥THAT LAST INT FOR A TD HAD ME IN TEARS ↵⇥
↵⇥I WONT BE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT EITHER ↵
↵

↵And then there's this ↵guy and his 4k posts on the WVU scout board: ↵

↵
↵⇥

RUN RUN DOWN THE FIELD AND WHAT DUE WE ↵⇥DUE??? 

↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Throw the ball!!! You got to be kidding me!!! What horriable play ↵⇥calling!!! ↵
↵

↵The banghead smiley got a workout over the weekend in West Virginia, ↵and not because it was being used by West Virginia defenders. OH ↵SNAP. ↵

↵

BIG TEN

↵

↵Kirk Cousins missed an open receiver by 20 yards and then had a ↵psychotic break on the next play, leaving Michigan ↵State fans coping with their second-consecutive stomach-punch ↵loss. Some of them are used to it. Some of them are not, and do ↵inexplicable things during games: ↵

↵
↵⇥
↵⇥NEVER f'n caulk your shower during a ↵⇥State game. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥I did such a s----- job. I'm frustrated ↵⇥all the way around. I got caulk every where and now I have to do it ↵⇥again tonight. ↵⇥
↵
↵

↵Others are not but do ↵obvious things: ↵

↵
↵⇥
↵⇥Sign In Here If You Got In A fight With ↵⇥The Signifigant Other Immediatly After The ND Game ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥So I droped multiple loud F bombs as soon ↵⇥as Cousins tossed that INT with the window open. The wife didn't take ↵⇥kindly to what I did because I wasn't think of the kids running around ↵⇥the neighborhood. And instead of going out to dinner I got Taco Bell and ↵⇥now am online here while the wife is watching "Nights In ↵⇥Rodanthe". This is officially one of the worst days of the year for ↵⇥me. ↵⇥
↵
↵

↵This starts an ↵epic thread. Epic. Epic: ↵

↵
↵⇥...with the game on the line and a little over one minute left in the ↵⇥game, my family unraveled. First, our newborn was crying because she was ↵⇥overtired. Then, our oldest daughter was outside on our deck barefoot, ↵⇥and came in screaming with a two-inch long splinter through the bottom ↵⇥of her toe. Our two year-old couldn't handle all the hysteria, so she ↵⇥began crying too. This was the first time all three girls have cried at ↵⇥the same time. I was on edge, but knew I had to do something other than ↵⇥leave my wife with three bawling children. So, I picked up the baby and ↵⇥stayed directly in front of the tv in order to drown out the other ↵⇥crying. Once Cousins got picked, the only thing I could really ↵⇥do with the baby in my arms (no swearing, no exaggerated death sprawl) ↵⇥was to grab her pacifier (it was not in her mouth) and throw it across ↵⇥the house. I did it with authority, though - it took a few odd ↵⇥bounces around the room, and oddly landed back at my feet. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥Later on, after my wife asked if tRCMB was having a meltdown, she ↵⇥said she was concerned my expectations were too high coming into the ↵⇥season. Sigh. ↵
↵

↵There's three or four more incidents that, though less likely to end ↵with a spiked baby, are almost as awesome to contemplate. If you do ↵nothing else this day, read it. ↵

↵

BIG 12

↵

↵Nebraska did ↵not think of the soldiers: ↵

↵
↵⇥

that ↵⇥hurt more than a lot!

↵⇥I'm currently deployed to the middle east and its 0215 in the ↵⇥morning, i gott be in formation in 3 1/2 hours and stayed up to listen ↵⇥to this game online, heartbreaking, unhappy with our overall ↵⇥performance, our D played pretty solid but the STUPID penelties killed ↵⇥us and the way our offense stalled out on drives hurt us, we should of ↵⇥blown out VT they are overrated!!! ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥by soldierguy38 on ↵⇥Sep ↵⇥19, 2009 4:18 PM PDT ↵
↵

↵Why do you hate America, Cornhuskers? Why do you hate ↵America? Bonus 'freude can be had from the head coach himself: ↵

↵
↵⇥The first guy asked something like "walk us through what happened in ↵⇥that last play". Pelini fired back "you saw exactly what happened. I'm ↵⇥not going to belabor the point. You saw what happened." or something ↵⇥like that. ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥by davereid on ↵⇥Sep ↵⇥19, 2009 4:27 PM PDT ↵
↵

↵And, yes, there's a Downfall ↵parody. I give it a B-. ↵

↵

PAC-10

↵

↵We already covered USC in detail, and the only other Pac-10 ↵teams to lose were Arizona, which no one cares about, and Oregon State, ↵which put in a respectable performance against an evidently good ↵Cincinnati team. As far as Arizona goes, I guess ↵there's this punctuation festival at ↵Raur Raur: ↵

↵
↵⇥Very rough weekend. Looking as bad as we did against Iowa and ↵⇥then hearing the official word that Gronk is out for the year (2010 ↵⇥Heisman!!!!) really hurts. ... Meaning Grigs must get more than 11 ↵⇥carries (3-4 in the 2nd half!?!?!?!??!?!) and Keola needs much more than ↵⇥1 ... seriously one bleepin' carry!!??! ↵
↵

↵But, um, part of the text removed by that ellipses was this... um... ↵statement: ↵

↵
↵⇥Our national championship hopes might have been hurt a little, but ↵⇥Arizona's first Rose Bowl victory/appearance might be even sweeter. ↵
↵

↵Ironic? I think so, but the "?!?!?!?!?!" sequence gives me pause. ↵

↵

SEC

↵

↵It was a week of cupcakes and solid nonconference opponents for the ↵SEC, with the only losers playing conference games, and those teams ↵largely encouraged by decent road performances or Vanderbilt, who can't ↵be bothered to care. Arkansas's craptacular defense is ↵good for a full-on Internet ↵Civil War, though: ↵

↵
↵⇥I was DEAD RIGHT in my summation of the Missouri State game two weeks ↵⇥ago when I stated that I saw things that concerned me. ... ↵⇥
↵⇥EVERYONE who came after me in that thread was about the most wrong ↵⇥that they have ever been in their lives. Now, I don't exepct an apology ↵⇥from all of you fricking morons, because that would be selfish. But ↵⇥PERSONAL fricking APOLOGIES are owed to me by: ↵⇥
↵⇥
↵⇥BakervsCarr first of all because I called his a-- a ↵⇥long time ago on the Rebsamen road thing, and second because his ↵⇥fricking statistics that he spewed out at me about the Missouri State ↵⇥game this year vs our first game last year, in his sorry a-- attempt to ↵⇥prove I had nothing to be concerned about, had NOOTHHINNNGGG to do ↵⇥with what we would encounter in SEC play. All of you who said he beat me ↵⇥down with his moronic post can go DIAF. ↵⇥
↵⇥ElvisHog for saying I complain about everything. ↵⇥I made a fricking opinionated post and was proven right, and he had ↵⇥NNOOO fricking reason to come after me. ↵⇥
↵⇥LashHog and hogsrunwild for ↵⇥generally being morons about every subject they've ever posted about on ↵⇥this board. ↵⇥
↵⇥Finally, to all of you who doubted me,  GO frick YOURSELVES.  ↵
↵

↵Ah, Woopig.net: you are the most accurately-named message board on ↵the entire internets. ↵

↵

BONUS!

↵

↵Remember when Ball State was going to play Boise ↵State in a battle of undefeateds? And then they lost and everyone forgot ↵about it? Yeah, they keep losing. Lots. Over the Pylon has a commemorative ↵Stan Parrish birthday haiku: ↵

↵
↵⇥poop feces dung s--- ↵⇥
↵⇥cow-patty diarrhea ↵⇥
↵⇥brown-snake crap turd log ↵
↵

↵That's about right for a team that just lost to North Texas, New ↵Hampshire, and Army. Enjoy this weekend's Auburn game. ↵

↵

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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