Spurrier Translated for the Layperson

It takes years of experience to properly understand what coaches are really saying in press conferences. It’s a code, and it requires a deft ear and a deep knowledge base of each coach’s special nuanced and individual language.

Thankfully, Red Cup Rebellion is here to help, this time in the case of what Steve Spurrier really means when he answers a question.

“We’re looking forward to another national TV Thursday night big time ball game. Ole Miss is number four or five in the country. They really haven’t started the meat of their schedule yet. Hopefully we’ll be considered one of their tougher opponents as we go through.”

TRANSLATION: Have y’all ever heard of Sergio Garcia? Sergio Garcia? Well, he plays golf, like me. One time, a couple of years ago, everybody was talkin’ about how Sergio was going to start winning majors, and beating Tiger, and not being a skid mark on the historical underwear. Everybody liked him because he was good looking – and I can say that because my Heisman trophy validates my heterosexuality.

As a Spurrier studies major in college, that is indeed an accurate reading.