Lou Holtz Is a Madman, In an Awesome Way

Lou Holtz just completely blew my mind. Yes, Holtz was doing one of his insanely silly “Dr. Lou” segments during halftime of tonight’s Ole Miss-South Carolina game, segments admittedly known for their incomprehensible, nonsensical joy ... but I submit this was above and beyond.

In the middle, there was a treatise about four guys named Everybody, Somebody, Nobody, and Anybody (trust me, this didn’t make any more sense at the time than it does now). Then there was an urging to be a part of Lou’s “TNT Club — Today, Not Tomorrow.” And then Lou closed with a classic quote: “Be nice to retired people, because unlike you, they never have a day off.” Fin.

That is the greatest two minutes of football analysis I’ve ever seen. I’m not being ironic. I genuinely enjoyed. Never change, Lou Holtz, you daft old freak, you.