Tired Of Basketball, Football, Baseball And Hockey? Try Kronum.

New sports sprout up every so often, like Slamball or ComBATON. Rarely do they come around with the apparent marketing budget that accompanies Kronum.

So what the heck is Kronum? Imagine if soccer, basketball, handball, lacrosse, rugby and Battlestar Galactica sport Pyramid had a baby and that kinda/sorta gets you in the right area. Better yet, just watch this way-too-well-made video on the rules of the game and how to score:

Watching that video, I felt a little bit like I was watching the sports version of the SNL commercial for Taco Town. In fact, I think it's an extremely fair thing to say that Kronum is the 'SNL commercial for Taco Town' of sports.

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by Sean Keeley • Apr 12, 2011 8:01 AM EDT

Interesting Facts About Qatar, Official Host Of 2022 World Cup

Well, hey Qatar, official host of the 2022 World Cup. You're looking pretty sexy there. I mean, you're looking beautiful. I can say that, right?

WHERE YOU AT QATAR? It's kind of like the appendix to Saudi Arabia, or its stubby tail, or if you're viewing frontally its modest erect member sticking out of its belly. This simile would get you jailed in Qatar, but I'm typing this in America where we love two things: football* and penis jokes.

It also looks like Michigan. Unlike Michigan, Qatar has resources like money and money and more money. The money wells of Qatar are its only resource, but it's a pretty nice one to have, even though they and their swift deposits directly into Sepp Blatter's bank account have nothing to do with them getting the World Cup. They also have oil, but whatever, bottomless oil wells spouting mineral wealth into the air.

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by Spencer Hall • Dec 2, 2010 11:46 AM EST

Qatar's World Cup Stadiums Reviewed

Qatar's making a bid for the 2022 World Cup, and there are serious problems with it. There are no flying cars, and by the year 2022 we better have flying cars, since I've been waiting on those since I saw them in a "Homes of the Future" book in 1980.  There is also the issue of alcohol and the very Muslim territory that simultaneously allows it in expensive hotels and bars but might arrest you for drinking it on the street. People like to drink in the street during the World Cup. These two things might be at odds, most especially if Scotland qualifies. 

The stadiums are another problem. Qatar's pitch is insane: full-on, barking-dog-flying-a-blimp-inflated-with-unicorn gas crazy from start to end. Video is below: boggle at it, and join me after the jump for a tour of the stadiums. 

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by Spencer Hall • Sep 28, 2010 4:19 PM EDT

Italian Man Strenuously Objects To Vuvuzelas With Car, Rifle

An Italian man objected to revelers at a bar tooting away the night on vuvuzelas, and did what you might have fantasized about doing during the World Cup: reacting to the noise with extreme violence. 

The man, 51, from a small town near Vicenza, reportedly marched down to the Coco Bamboo bar because the din was bothering him and then fired several shots into the air with his rifle.

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by Spencer Hall • Jul 27, 2010 10:35 AM EDT

H8ers Gonna H8: Paul The Psychic Octopus Upsets Petulant Scientists

Haters follow success as inevitably as sleeping in the bathtub follows mixing tequila with peppermint schnapps. Witness: a scant two days after a run of perfect World Cup predictions made him a media sensation, Paul the Psychic Octopus is fending off critics from all walks of life, from would-be winners who didn't heed his picks at the betting window to cynical biology types who sound like they have important science jobs they ought to be doing:

Matthew Fuller, the senior aquarist at the Weymouth park, judged the flag-shape theory to be plausible: “[Octopuses] are the most intelligent of all the invertebrates and studies have shown they are able to distinguish shapes and patterns so maybe he’s able to recognise flags.” Vyacheslav Bisikov, a Russian biologist, agrees that it is possible for an octopus to become attracted to a striped flag. However, Pascal Coutant, director of the La Rochelle Aquarium states: “It’s complete chance that guides his choices.”

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by Holly Anderson • Jul 13, 2010 9:16 PM EDT

The Octopus Story That Won't Die: Paul Gets A Trophy!

It's been a tumultuous and often dangerous World Cup journey for our international media darling, Paul the Psychic Octopus. He threw his home country into a tailspin by correctly foretelling their on-field doom, weathered* death threats from jilted tapas aficionados, took shelter under the protective auspices of a foreign government, and suffered the indignity of unauthorized biographical details leaking to the press. Today, finally, the world's foremost eight-legged oracle gets his just desserts:

Paul the oracle octopus was given a replica of the World Cup on Monday as a reward for his perfect eight-for-eight record in picking matches as bettors worldwide collected their winnings based on his selections.
[...]
"We've had a lot of offers for Paul but he will definitely be staying with us and returning to his old job - making children smile," Sea Life spokeswoman Tanja Munzig in Oberhausen told Reuters after presenting Paul with the World Cup replica.

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by Holly Anderson • Jul 12, 2010 6:40 PM EDT

'Jimmy Jump' Rushes Field Before World Cup Final, Against All Better Judgment

Remember last year when Roger Federer was playing in the French Open and some guy jumped onto the court and tried to put a hat on him? Remember thinking, "well, I hope that dude never does that again, because he's liable get punched in the throat by the next person he tries that with"? Well, he's back, because... why not.

As Dirty Tackle reports, before the start of today's World Cup finale, Jimmy Jump (no really, that's what he calls himself) crashed the pitch and tried putting his hat on something again. Though he learned well enough not to forcibly behat (new word) another person, he did decide to make his inanimate target as auspicious as possible: the FIFA World Cup Trophy.

And for that, as you'd expect, he got punched in the throat. Video is after the break.

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by Adam Jacobi • Jul 11, 2010 8:45 PM EDT

People Are Really, REALLY Into This Psychic Octopus Thing

The tale of Paul-The-Psychic-Octopus, you'll all be shocked to learn, has taken yet another nationalistic turn, with the Spanish government stepping in to shield the cephalopod that predicted their World Cup finals berth:

The Spanish government on Thursday expressed concern for the future wellbeing of Paul, the soothsaying octopus who from its German zoo has predicted a slew of correct results at the World Cup.

“I am concerned for the octopus... I am thinking of sending him a protective team,” joked Prime Minister Jose Luiz Rodriguez Zapatero on Radio Cadena Ser. Environment and Fisheries Minister Elena Espinosa suggested there be a moratorium on going after Paul.

I'm not much of a soccer fan in the first place, but I wish the World Cup could go on forever, just so I could keep writing about this. Buena suerte, Octo-bro.

HT: Dirty Tackle. Stay tuned to SB Nation through the World Cup final for all your loosely-translated psychic octopus coverage needs.

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by Holly Anderson • Jul 8, 2010 9:02 PM EDT

Domestic Violence Incidences Skyrocket After England World Cup Elimination

A disturbing report from Megan French at the Guardian.co.uk cites an increase in incidences of domestic violence in England following their World Cup quarterfinal elimination by Germany:

Fears that the World Cup would be accompanied by a surge in domestic violence appear to have been realised, with one police force recording the greatest number of incidents since 1 January on the day England were knocked out of the tournament.

On 27 June, when England were defeated 4-1 by Germany, Greater Manchester police logged 353 incidents of domestic violence.

A spokesman for the force said the figure was the second highest recorded so far this year — and 15.7% higher than the same day last year.

Police forces had been asked to highlight the issue after research conducted during the last World Cup showed that domestic violence increased by almost a third during the tournament.

Perhaps that last sentence illustrates the most disturbing part of the story: England knew this was coming, tried to stop it, but couldn't.

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by Richard Farley • Jul 8, 2010 1:52 PM EDT