Auburn Outlasts Northwestern In A Thrilling Outback Bowl

Auburn could not have done more to lose the Outback Bowl today. This is a matter of math, and not just a rhetorical flourish. The Tigers defense allowed 621 yards and 34 first downs to Northwestern. They fumbled away the ball four times, threw two interceptions, kept drives alive with inane penalties, gave away good field position with unsportsmanlike flags earned on touchdown celebrations, and tackled with all the dedication and tenacity of sedated ranch hands going after greased pigs. With the game on the line in the fourth quarter, they fumbled twice on a possession and a kickoff, allowed Northwestern to tie, and managed only a field goal on their first possession of overtime.

This all turned out to be a warmup, however, for a finale of gross and ultimately unpunished incompetence so galling you may have had to watch it through a blast shield. (Or should have. The whole thing is still burned into my retinas, at least.)

Auburn sacked Kafka, and when the ball flew loose and an Auburn player recovered the team took the field in a mad rush…only for the replay official to overrule, declare Kafka down (rightly) and give Northwestern another life. Two plays later Stefan Demos lined up for a field goal, missed it and game over—

/sound of needle being pulled off record

—I mean, an Auburn player rolled into Demos’ leg, shattering it in some horrid manner, and giving Northwestern new life with a first down off a roughing the kicker penalty. An Auburn player then bumped into the ref hard during the call, and i half expected the official to flag him for sheer clumsiness.

Auburn fans added to the shambolic scene by booing Demos, who’d already had a bad enough day by missing two field goals and having an extra point blocked. Northwestern then tried a quick fake, missed on it, and then stopped this runaway truck of a game in handing a victory to an Auburn team who did everything in its power to throw themselves under said runaway truck.

In summary, it was an irredeemable, sloppy mess of a game marked by turnovers, irregular defense, huge gambles gone awry, bad execution, slow officiating, poor decision-making by all concerned, total chaos. Rephrased: it was the most fun you’ll have watching a game this bowl season, and I need a beer and a cold compress after watching it.

P.S. Auburn even botched the Gatorade bath at the end, dousing Rob Stone when aiming for Gene Chizik.

P.P.S. Wildcat QB Kafka had this insane line on the day: 47-for-78, 533 yards passing, 4 TDs and 5 INTS. Northwestern ran 115 plays and had 34 first downs. How they lost this game comes down to a kicker, twice: once on a missed extra point, and once on his destroyed knee, an injury forcing the failed 4th down trickery from Pat Fitzgerald.