World Cup Soccer: To Be Ruined By The Jerrydome in 2018 or 2022

Provided we all survive the great Zombie War of 2015, the World Cup will likely come to the United States in either 2018 or 2022. You want to plan ahead for this even if you’re not a soccer fan, because German and English soccer fans could be coming to your city, and you’ll want to stock up on riot shields and pepper spray in advance. (It’s considered a polite greeting at this point, not prevention.)

Those probable host cities have been announced, and if you live in the Midwest, you’re a bit out of luck: the only Midwestern city on the list of candidate cities is Indianapolis. Dallas is on the list, so the JerryDome could provide a bloated, soulless backdrop for yet another sport. Keep your dancin’ ladies, JJ: The World Cup brings their own. Um, especially Brazil. No, that’s what google is for, and you can do that yourself, thank you very much.