'He Killed My Snake' And Other Deleted Scenes From The U

Ordinary chatter before NFL playoff games is good, but between ex-teammates from The U, it’s just so much better. Luckily, Saturday night, Ed Reed’s Ravens play Reggie Wayne’s Colts, and we’re treated to anecdotes like this one.

From the Baltimore Sun:

While Wayne was a rookie with the Colts in 2001, he left his nine-foot pet green Burmese python named “Law” with Reed, who was a senior at the University of Miami and Wayne’s roommate. One day, according to Wayne, he got a text message from Reed, saying, “Law’s dead.”

“He killed my snake,” Wayne recalled. “He neglected my snake.”

[…]

“He was supposed to reimburse me with a new one,” said Wayne, who was prodded to rehash the story by Indianapolis Star columnist Bob Kravitz. “He hasn’t done that yet. Thanks for bringing that up because I’ll be sure to bring it up with him this week.”

First of all, what else goes on among ex-Miami players that we don’t know about? Without ESPN’s editorial presence, there was probably enough material to have made “The U” into a 10-hour long film. And we’d all have loved it.

But more to point: Reggie Wayne had a 9-foot python named “Law.” Incredibly badass.

And sure, it probably didn’t happen this way, but let’s imagine that Ed Reed wrestled the python to death, just ‘cause that’s what Ed Reed does.

Finally, when these two players are dueling on national TV, imagine Reggie Wayne yelling to his teammates (in the Ed Reed voice?):

He killed my snake, dog! HE NEGLECTED MY SNAKE!

I love sports.