Have you bought Free Darko's Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac yet? It's the most entertaining sports book you will ever read, it's been out for over a year, and everyone else has already told you to check it out, so your excuses are dying fast. Anyway, the book features a chapter on the Wizards' Gilbert Arenas titled, "The Court Is a Carnival." It addresses Arenas' improvisational, unorthodox approach to the game.â†µ
After reading about Arenas' alleged brandishing of a gun in the locker room, I took the book back off the shelf, opened his chapter, and waited patiently for the page to update. Surely the incident, the reports of which have evolved from something unlike Arenas into something completely like Arenas (the incident is now being described as "horseplay"), is something that deserved mention in the book. Then I remembered that it was a book and books don't work like that, so I took the liberty of editing it myself. Behold, the slightly retooled Gilbert Arenas illustration:
I hold firmly to the belief that this is an exact re-creation of what happened, and nothing will convince me otherwise.