Canal Street Chronicles: Keys To Victory

When the New Orleans Saints locked up home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs, they did it for good reason. The Superdome has turned into one of the loudest stadiums in the NFL, and loud fans cause disruptions for the opposing offense. Credit goes to the New Orleans organization for putting together a fun, exciting team to watch that wins; and to the residents of New Orleans for their resiliency in the face of natural disaster and embracing this team.

But, everybody is always looking for a little extra advantage. Canal Street Chronicles is no exception. The NFL forbids fans bringing in noise-making devices, so they suggest a ready alternative. Your keys. The NFL can’t ban your keys, and according to tests in the college ranks, jangling keys can create some noise.

I’ve personally never heard of this tactic before but it’s simple and makes sense. One set of keys alone doesn’t really seem intimidating but think about the high-pitch of 69,000 sets of door openers clinking and clanking inside a closed roof building. And I’m not saying fans should do this instead of screaming and yelling. Oh no. I’m talking about jingling your keys in addition to shouting at the top of your lungs. Think about the decibel possibilities! And, of course, this is totally legal since all fans are allowed to bring their house keys to the game with them. Catch us now, Goodell!

So I’m calling for a Key-Out this Sunday. Yeah, you heard me right. Janitors, unite!

Your move, Roger Goodell.

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