More: Super Bowl 2012 coverage.â†µ
To paraphrase Bill Hicks: now let's talk about something totally uncontroversial. How about abortion? Yes? Sounds great, let's go.
FOX NEWS WRITES: Tim Tebow will appear in a pro-life ad on Super Bowl Sunday in partnership with James Dobson and Focus on the Family. The ad, which cost somewhere between $2.5 and $2.8 million to buy, will present the viewer with the compelling and moving story of how Tim Tebow's mother Pam, sick with amoebic dysentery in the Philippines and pregnant with Tim, defied doctors' orders and had a healthy pregnancy anyway--a pregnancy that became Tim! One of those doctors was actually EVIL LIBERAL Nancy Pelosi, who needs daily doses of new fetal tissue to keep her 872-year-old flesh from rotting off her ancient skeleton! Not many athletes are willing to take bold stances like this, but Tebow says he doesn't care. Some people don't like it, but SOME PEOPLE like having tea parties with Obama--er, Osama Bin Laden at their Upper West Side book parties, eh? /winksâ†µ
MSNBC WRITES: Tim Tebow, who is a quarterback and not a politician, will appear with nutjob James Dobson, whose organization believes homosexuality will "destroy the world" in an anti-abortion ad on Super Bowl Sunday. The ad, which cost the religious "non-profit" almost $3 million, will depict the story of how Pam Tebow ignored the scientific opinion of her doctors and went ahead with her pregnancy anyway, thus setting a dangerous faith-based precedent for an exceptional situation that should be governed by the laws of science. Tim Tebow, a virgin who has no children, is attempting to take away women's right to choose through our televisions with his magical Heisman Jesus powers. [Olbermann style] Your ability to choose political bedfellows is as clumsy as your attempts to take a snap under center. The call on the field, SIR, is fumble, SIR. [/olbermann'd]â†µ
SENSIBLE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE: "When's the game coming back on? I want to watch Peyton Manning yell at his offensive line some more."â†µ
/drinks another beerâ†µ
/will do whatever they want anyway because this is Americaâ†µ