A real "mock" draft - sense of humor required


I've considered for awhile putting something humorous up here, since sometimes we take things too seriously. So this is a true "mock". I'm making fun of your teams, ownership, coaches, past draft history, or players. I don't necessarily believe the things I say, but they worked for quick jokes. I left out anything offensive (well, I named Al Davis). I went only 16 picks (halfway), because if you're team is drafting late it is harder to find things about them to make fun about.

My other idea is to put up a poll, who is more upset, the Lions fans being given a left tackle or the Cowboys fans being given an inside linebacker?

If you want any explanations, feel free to ask. Or come up with a better "mock" pick than I did. My first one is pretty weak.


1. St. Louis Rams - Brian Price, DT, UCLA

It's not enough they stole LA's team. Now they steal their best born and raised player as well.

2. Detroit Lions - Damian Williams, WR, USC

This one was too easy.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Jevan Snead, QB, Mississippi

Tampa realizes they no longer have 6 quarterbacks on their roster. Snead fits their prototype of physical potential over actual application of those skills.

4. Washington Redskins - Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame

As a QB Clausen's agent asks for the most money, therefore he is the best player.

5. Kansas City Chiefs - Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma

Positional value is more important than skill, and what it more important than a QB? Plus, Haley just decides he doesn't like Cassell, the guy is not his type of player.

6. Seattle Seahawks - Rolando McClain, ILB, Alabama

You pick the best player, regardless of need. Plus, Walter Jones has at least five years left.

7. Cleveland Browns - Tony Pike, QB, Cincinnati

Let's make the QB controversy even more confusing. And then wear them all down until they have no trade value.

8. Oakland Raiders - Joe Smith, K, Northeastern Idaho College

Smith runs a 4.48 in the 40, by far the fastest kicker in the draft. Al Davis figures he can use him to raise the threat of fake field goals.

9. Buffalo Bills - Navorro Bowman, DT, Penn State

Buffalo cares little about where everyone else ranks players or what position they play. As long as they are from Penn State.

10. Denver Broncos - Russell Okung, T, Oklahoma State

McDaniels throws a hissy fit after Clady forgets to send him a birthday card, after which he is kicked off the team, making tackle the position of most need.

11. Jacksonville Jaguars - Tim Tebow, QB, Florida

Gaining the attention of 16-year old girls has been the road to success for so many other sports franchises.

12. Miami Dolphins - Mike Williams, WR, Syracuse

Parcells is a laid-back guy that believes in high-flying offenses and giving players numerous chances.

13. San Francisco 49'ers - Brandon Spikes, ILB, Florida

A younger Spikes to replace the older, and it's not like Willis is any good.

14. Seattle Seahawks - Sean Weatherspoon, LB, Missouri

Have to keep picking BPA.

15. NY Giants - Derrick Morgan, DE, Georgia Tech

If they keep drafting pass rushers, one of them will get to the QB, right?

16. Carolina Panthers (giving this back to them) - Jonathan Dwyer, RB, Georgia Tech

A team that is consistently looking to improve its running game in the draft.

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