Happy Festivus, people. I've got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're going to hear about it! But first, I have this mock draft I'm doing because I am very bored right now. I'm going with the current draft order of course, except I can't have the Patriots at number 32 for religious reasons.
1. Carolina Panthers-Andrew Luck/QB/Stanford: I hate to do this to Clausen, but John Fox is all but gone, and the new coach will most likely have no allegiance to Jimmy Clausen or Matt Moore. Andrew Luck is a fantastic quarterback who should be a solid pro. Although they are as talentless as an NFL team can be, they can still build around a quarterback like Luck.
2. Denver Broncos-Patrick Peterson/CB/LSU: Peterson might be the best cornerback prospect since Champ Bailey, the man who Peterson will replace in Denver. Bailey may not be back next year, and Andre Goodman is just a bad cornerback. Perrish Cox is a better fit at nickelback.
3. Cincinnati Bengals-AJ Green/WR/Georgia: The second best wide receiver prospect since Randy Moss. Green has it all. If the Panthers decide to stick with Jimmy Clausen, he will be the number one pick. The Bengals will not have Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens next year, so they will really need a new number one wide receiver.
4. Arizona Cardinals-Cam Newton/QB/Auburn: All aboard the Cam Newton hype train! I would take Ryan Mallett and Jake Locker over Newton, but Cam Newton is getting hyped like Tim Tebow, who is the inferior version of Cam Newton. It is safe to say John Skelton is not the future of the Cardinals. Newton should have some success as a pro, but I am not sold for him as a top 5 picks.
5. Detroit Lions-Prince Amukamara/CB/Nebraska: Not only does Amukamara fill a huge need, he is also the best player left on the board. Amukamara would be considered an elite prospect if it weren't for Patrick Peterson. Lions have no secondary at all, and Amukamara would immediately be the number one cornerback on the team.
6. Buffalo Bills-Nick Fairley/DE/Auburn: The Bills front seven is not good. Kyle Williams is a very good nose tackle, but the six others are just weak. That means this pick comes down to Nick Fairley and Robert Quinn. Between those two, I would go with Nick Fairley every single time. He has been fantastic this year.
7. San Francisco 49ers-Ryan Mallett/QB/Arkansas: To be honest, I think at one point prior to the draft the 49ers pick up Donovan McNabb or another veteran quarterback, but right now, Ryan Mallett is the best option on the board. I have always been on the Ryan Mallett bandwagon, and the 49ers offense might be a good quarterback away from being great. Frank Gore and Anthony Dixon are a good 1-2 punch, Michael Crabtree will be a solid number one receiver, and they beefed up the offensive line in the last draft.
8. Dallas Cowboys-Marcell Dareus/DE/Alabama: The Cowboys need some help on their defensive line. Igor Olshansky is really only good at taking out Carson Palmer. The secondary is a major concern, but having Dareus on the line would help by proxy since he would increase the pass rush's and run defense's effectiveness.
9. Washington Redskins-Jake Locker/QB/Washington: This is such a ridiculous QB-heavy class. If the draft were today, I think it would go like this. However, Donovan McNabb and Kevin Kolb possibly moving could make some quarterbacks drop. Right now, the Redskins need a quarterback and Locker would be a great fit for Shanahan.
10. Houston Texans-Brandon Harris/CB/Miami: 7 out of 10 picks going to quarterbacks or cornerbacks? That has definitely never happened before. The Texans pass defense is a disgrace. Kareem Jackson may have been the pick last year, but they sure do need more help. They will probably go free safety in the second or third round as well.
11. Minnesota Vikings-Robert Quinn/DE/North Carolina: The Vikings don't get a quarterback, but getting a prospect who could go as high as #2 is a great consolation prize. Ray Edwards is a free agent, and Robert Quinn would be a fantastic replacement. There is also a good chance the Vikings get Donovan McNabb, Kevin Kolb, or Kyle Orton in a trade or free agency.
12. Cleveland Browns-Julio Jones/WR/Alabama: The Browns need to give Colt McCoy some targets. He's got a running game and his offensive line is workable. Mohammad Massaquoi and Brian Robiskie will not cut it as his receivers though. Jones has turned into a beast this year and lived up to his hype.
13. Seattle Seahawks-Gabe Carimi/OT/Wisconsin: Major stretch right here. I do not think Carimi is the top offensive lineman in this draft, but I do think he could be a phenomenal right tackle. Match that with Russell Okung on the left and the Seahawks have a beautiful offensive line.
14. Tennessee Titans-Janoris Jenkins/CB/Florida: The Titans pass defense is horrible even though they are getting pressure on the QB, and with Derrick Morgan as the pick last year, the pass rush is only going to get better. It shows how bad the cornerbacks are for the Titans when they can have a good pass rush but still give up big yardage through the year. The thug Cortland Innegan is progressively getting worse.
15. New England Patriots from Oakland-Ryan Kerrigan/OLB/Purdue: The Patriots are going to need some help with the pass rush and front seven in general. Kerrigan is a smart player who comes from a school that has done well with making pass rushers as of late. He should be a very good fit.
16. Miami Dolphins-Mark Ingram/RB/Alabama: I am skeptical of this pick, but I cannot find anywhere else to go right here. A trade down might be their best move. Either way, the Dolphins will need a replacement at running back for Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams, and Ingram is the best running back in the draft.
17. San Diego Chargers-Adrian Clayborn/DE/Iowa: The Chargers have a pretty weak defensive line to be honest, and Clayborn will be a great fit for them as a defensive end. He has not played great this year which hurt his stock, but he is still the beast we all knew he was as a junior.
18. Jacksonville Jaguars-Rahim Moore/FS/UCLA: Another big stretch, but as we saw in the last draft the Jaguars are not afraid of doing that. The Jaguars have a pretty weak secondary, and Moore is the best safety in this draft. He should replace the major whole in the Jaguars' defense.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Da'Quon Bowers/DE/Clemson: Huge fall for Bowers in this mock. I think he is the most likely player to plummet in this draft like Jimmy Clausen did last year. He is very fast and puts up great stats but is still a very raw prospect. The Bucs need a defensive end to help out Gerald McCoy on the inside.
20. Green Bay Packers-Allen Bailey/DE/Miami: With Johnny Jolly suspended for sippin' on some sizzurp and Cullen Jenkins battling injury, defensive end has become a very large need for the Packers. Bailey is a monster who kills alligators with shovels who is also extremely fast. He's a physical specimen for sure.
21. St. Louis Rams-Justin Blackmon/WR/Oklahoma State: This was tough for me to decide between Blackmon and Michael Floyd, but I decided to go with the redshirt sophomore who is having a season for the ages. In replacing Dez Bryant, Blackmon may have surpassed him as a draft prospect. Sam Bradford could use a receiver like him.
22. Indianapolis Colts-Derek Sherrod/OT/Ole Miss: Woo hoo! I really want Derek Sherrod and I would be thrilled if the Colts could get a new left tackle and move Charlie Johnson to right tackle. That would then give the Colts the option to tie Ryan Diem to a space shuttle and launch him off to where he belongs.
23. Kansas City Chiefs-Von Miller/OLB/Texas A&M: Miller fell pretty far in this mock. It is not a coincidence that the further you get down a draft the less a pass rusher is needed. Good teams have great pass rush. Miller would be a perfect complement to Tamba Hali.
24. New York Giants-Anthony Castonzo/OT/Boston College: The Giants need some offensive line help. Diehl may be past his prime as a left tackle and the rest of the line has been pretty disappointing. Castonzo is a complete tackle who would help Eli Manning stay on his feet.
25. New Orleans Saints-Stephen Paea/DT/Oregon State: The Saints get a great pick here with Paea. He is one of the best 4-3 defensive tackles and he falls way down to 25. He is the best player available and could help out the Saints pass rush.
26. Chicago Bears-Nate Solder/OT/Colorado: He is a very, very raw prospect but his size and success will appeal to the Bears. He made the 2009 All-Big 12 team when the Big 12 had two offensive tackles go in the top 6. He's a massive tackle who could play left or right tackle for the horrific offensive line of the Bears.
27. New York Jets-Akeem Ayers/OLB/UCLA: The Jets need to get a pass rush if they will ever get over Tom Brady and Peyton Manning in the AFC. Ayers is a raw prospect but he is extremely talented. Jets need a lot of help in their front 7 as the Patriots game showed.
28. Baltimore Ravens-Brandon Burton/CB/Utah: The Ravens have a major hole at cornerback. Fabian Washington and Chris Carr are free agents, and Dominique Foxworth will be the only notable cornerback left on the team. They need help immediately. Burton may not be a first round prospect but he is the best player left on the board. However, Ozzie Newsome is known to go best player available, so this pick may come out of nowhere.
29. Philadelphia Eagles-DeMarcus Love/OG/Arkansas: I think Love is a better fit at guard than tackle in the NFL. Either way, Andy Reid will love his size and his raw talent.
30. Pittsburgh Steelers-Tryon Smith/OT/USC: There isn't a great offensive lineman in this draft, but there are a lot of very good ones. Smith is very, very small but he has great technique. He is a healthier version of Charles Brown who came from USC last year.
31. New England Patriots-Cameron Jordan/DE/California: With no 1st round caliber offensive linemen left, the Patriots go for some depth on the defensive line. Cameron Jordan is a similar player to Tyson Alualu and should make a strong impact for the Pats in 2011.
32. Atlanta Falcons-Kyle Rudolph/TE/Notre Dame: Rudy sneaks into the first round! With his size and speed he could be a phenomenal tight end. Matt Ryan could use a target like him. When Rudolph is healthy, he is the best tight end in college football, bar none.