The Azeris claimed an early strategic advantage in the Olympic Pants war with their daring opening gambit using macro-paisley patterns to stun opponents into submission. They may have just angered the Norwegians, however. The canny Scandinavians opted for conservative in the opening ceremonies, hiding their shock troops until the right moment in battle.
Then, at a training session on Sunday, the Norwegian curling team attacked.
Losses on all opposing sides were devastating, but when you ask John Daly's outfitter and merchant of fashion death Loudmouth Golf to make battle pants for you, you know what you're asking for and are prepared for the consequences. There is no dress code in international curling, but after the Viking bloodshed left by the Norwegians on the curling sheet this whole Olympic Pants War Code may have to be rewritten.
"There are no rules against the pants, but there may be after this," said the aforementioned flashy-dressing Second Christoffer Svae.
Indeed. This naked act of aggression may force the pants equivalent of the chemical weapons ban.