Can't Wait To Watch The Downhill Tonight!

Man, I can't wait to get home and watch the downhill. It's gonna be rad! 

/starts Chevy Camaro

/talks on huge cell phone 

I can't wait to see it, and I have to wait. Because it's 1988, dude! They tape-delay everything, and you have to go home and watch it after you get the kids to stop playing that crazy Super Mario Brothers game! 

/cranks "Look Away" by Chicago 

/puts on aviator shades

See, it's not like NBC has four channels or something like that where they could show live content throughout the day. I mean, HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE ALL THAT CHOICE? It'd be too much, like having more than two choices besides Coke and Pepsi. I mean, that sounds as crazy as buying coffee you didn't make at home every day? 

/thinks about Ronald Reagan

/pays for everything with personal checks

Airing it live? Man, you're crazy sometimes. 

I can't imagine a better way of doing things. After all, it's 1988! Tape delay is the only way to watch the Olympics, since there's no other way to find out the results of competition that happened through the day. What, like a tube that brought information into my house that I could access anytime? Man, that's as crazy as the zany cast of characters on the hit sitcom Night Court! Markie Post is going places, man! 

/turns on Zenith that looks like a piece of furniture

/opens Bud Ice

But watching them live? Whenever you want? That's crazy talk, man.