NBC's Horrific Programming Decisions Save Nation From American Idol Scourge (For, Like, A Night)

So NBC's smash hit strategy of shoehorning an entire day of Olympic competition into a single evening of primetime clip shows has paid off -- in the form of an unheard-of ratings victory over American Idol Wednesday night.

It's bad news for anyone still holding out hope the beleagured network would change its tape-delayin' ways -- where they've been primly reticent in dealing with unhappy fan sentiment, Peacock brass are sure to crow about this, but it's undeniably a huge win for the network, and a long, long time coming:

It was the first time any show has beaten "American Idol" since May 2004, when a special Monday edition was topped by NBC's "Fear Factor."

That's nearly six years since the last primetime win over FOX's show pony, and the path to repeat success clearly lies in some combination of Olympic glory and Fear Factor grossness. I humbly suggest dipping former host Joe Rogan into a vat of live crabs and serving him as the main dish in a closing-ceremonies buffet for medalists. Y'know, in the spirit of brotherhood. And if they really want to get crazy, what the hell? Air it live.