A 13 Year Old Cannot Commit, But He Can Be Savaged By Youtube Commenters

It’s not really possible to get a “commitment” out of a seventh-grade quarterback. It’s actually not possible to really get a commitment out of a seventh grader on anything, really. Have you ever tried getting one of them in a windowless van? It’s freaking imposs—I mean, it seems like it would very difficult.

So when you hear the story today that Lane Kiffin “got a commitment” from David Sills, a 13 year-old quarterback from Delaware, know that this is essentially the kind of ephemeral PR stunt with no substance that has made up the bulk of Lane Kiffin’s career to this point. Don’t get angry. Don’t write screedy columns about the overreach of college athletics into university life. Don’t assume Lane Kiffin, one very worm-ridden apple, spoils an entire batch of otherwise fine sporting produce.

What you should get angry about is the music in Sills’ highlight clip.

Sure, someone’s marketing a 13 year-old. But this is America: whoring is what we do, and to see it done so poorly is the real atrocity. We all know the highlight reel rule: rap-rock anthem, Coldplay, or some swaggerish but not too profane hip-hop make your background music, not Fountains of Wayne. “Stacey’s Mom” would have been a better choice in light of how this all worked out.

This is trifling commentary without the sound judgment of Youtube commenters, though. They keep it real where we can’t in discussing the merits of—we repeat—a 13 year-old quarterback.

You put a kid like this is the SEC, he won’t never last. He’s a toothpick!

his receivers make him look good. other than that, not impressed.

usc can hav dat kid he wack as f*** if he is 15 dam were my scholorship at

The kids good, but I’d love to see him take a hit from a 300 pound DT

The soul of America lives in the “click to read all” just underneath every clip on Youtube. Peek at its dark heart if you dare.