Winter Olympics: Russia, As Usual, Thinks Big

Russians, as a rule, think big. They built the An-225, the world’s largest plane, live in the world’s largest country by geographical size, and proudly breed the world’s largest pet, the Siberian Home Security Bear and Loving Family Companion.* Even their anthem is massive, and requires gigantic socialist imagery to accompany it:

Big is the operative word when thinking about Russians and planning, and Olympic ambitions follow suit. Russia’s goal for total medals at the games: 40, which sounds like a lot even before you get the news that the most any single country has ever racked up in the games is 36, Germany’s total in the 2002 games in Salt Lake City. Exciting prizes are being offered, like the privilege of being allowed to live by Vladimir Putin, baby tiger cubs, and mega-yachts no longer needed by Russian oligarch billionaires who have shed these like dead snakeskins in favor of bigger yachts so huge they qualify as their own nation-states.**

*Guaranteed to be one or the other, but not necessarily both. This message brought to you by Pletchesky and Sons: Provider of Fine Bear and Bear Related Products Since 1991.

**Learned everything I know about Russia from the internet.