Your Life Is A Tournament Bracket

A few years ago, a book titled The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything was published. The focus of the book was to explore the application of NCAA Tournament-style bracket logic to everyday decisions we make. From a write-up on the book:

The brackets structure forces you to organize and focus your thoughts. "The smartest executives and the most successful investors have a unique ability to process an enormous amount of information and boil it down into binaries—'yes or no' is a binary—that simplify decision-making[.]"

After thinking about it, I think there's some truth to this. Whether conscious or not, the decisions we make lead to future decisions, which compound into end results. For example, given the time change and your decisions last night, what time did you wake up on Sunday, and what did you have for breakfast? Let's draw up a bracket.

 When You Woke Up/What You Had For Breakfast On Sunday Division

(1) 9:30 AM, freezer-burned Totino's Party Pizza
(16) 1:00 PM, hot sauce packets you discreetly filched from a Taco Bell

(8) 8:00 AM, communion wafer
(9) 4:00 PM, 5 Hour Energy, ibuprofen, toothpaste (inadvertent)

(5) 11:00 AM, your spoiled indignant toddler's half-eaten Pop-Tart
(12) 6:00 AM, grapefruit and eggs benedict garnished with parsley

(4) 2:38 PM, remaining juice from otherwise empty jar of pickles
(13) 12:00 PM, expired eggs seasoned with salt (which has somehow also expired)

(6) 10:00 AM, casserole leftovers you must finish or dispose of by the time your girlfriend comes over so that you do not hurt her feelings
(11) 8:15 AM (and again at 3:30 PM), Waffle House

(3) 6:30 PM, hot wings at the bar down the street, Coors
(14) 8:41 PM, malaise and regret over a life poorly spent

(7) 11:00 AM, your roommate's "Patented Bro-tastic X-Treme Bacon and Eggs" which is just bacon and eggs
(10) 7:30 AM, gas station cup of coffee, inside of which you have secreted a Slim Jim

(2) 8:00 AM, Sunday school pretzels and lemon drink
(15) 2:21 AM, hopelessly lost group of hikers

So ask yourself: who won? Personally speaking, the 6-seed is the improbable winner. Sorry, lady.