SB Nation Blogger Olympics: Physical Fitness Only Slightly Oxymoronic

The First (and Potentially) Annual SBNation.com Blogger Olympics took place in Washington, DC this past Thursday and Friday, and if you didn't watch the videos below that's perfectly acceptable. There were no sponsors, no bright lights, and cringe-inducing profile pieces about the athletes.

We did have one thing, however: tales of epic heroism, and a new understanding for how (relatively speaking) unfit the common man is for the field of athletic endeavor combined with an appreciation for the little skill we do have. We also had one minor injury, which is a fairly solid result for a group of people who spend that much time behind a computer.

The games occurred in two stages. The first was bar games, a selection of contests people usually engage in when drinking in public houses and other establishments. While not "athletic," per se, they do constitute a group of activities long neglected by the conventional sporting establishment. It also allowed us to drink beer while competing. This was quite important.

Points were awarded thusly: first place in each event received eight points, second place seven points and so on.

The Athletes:

• Spencer Hall, Every Day Should Be Saturday and SBNation.com contributor.
• Chris Mottram, Senior Editor of SBNation.com
• Andrew Sharp, Editor of SBNation.com
• Chris Haines, Community Manager of SB Nation.
• Matt O'Brien, Editor of SBNation.com.
• Michael Prada, Bullets Forever and SBNation.com editor.
• Michael Tunison aka Christmas Ape, Kissing Suzy Kolber and The Sporting Blog.
• Ryan Hudson, Evening Editor of SBNation.com

Part One: The Bar Games:

--Shuffleboard Tournament. Like curling without the brooms. And Ice. (Winners: Team of Mottram and Haines)

--Beer chug. One 16 ounce beer of your choice, consumed as quickly as possible. (Winner: Spencer Hall)

--Pool tournament (Winner: Chris Mottram)

--Darts (Winner: Chris Haines)

The results are below in video form. 

Part Two: The Physical Challenge: 

The second part took place the next day at Primal Fitness in DC, and tested the physical mettle of our contestants. Pasty internet scribes were asked to perform basic physical activities in the area of strength, agility, and speed. The menu for the day: 

--Deadlift. Three attempts at a max lift. (Winner: Spencer Hall)

--Bench Press. Same. (Winner: Spencer Hall)

--40 meter dash. (This was supposed to be the 40 yard dash, but we opted for the godless Metric system when the math got really difficult.) (Winner: Chris Haines)

--Shuttle run. (Winner: Andrew Sharp)

--"Strongman" event. Please notice the quotes. Contestants moved a 90 pound and 80 pound sandbag across the gym as quickly as possible, and then completed a farmer's walk with 70 lb dumbells in hand. (Winner: Chris Haines)

--The mile. One mile, run as quickly as possible. (Winner: Mike Tunison)

I warn you: the footage is so inspiring you may run from the office and immediately begin sprinting and lifting weights. 

The Final Results:

• 8th place: Matt O'Brien, 30 points
• 7th place: Mike Prada, 32 points
• 6th place: Mike Tunison, 48 points
• 5th place: Andrew Sharp, 50 points
• 4th place: Ryan Hudson, 52 points

• Bronze: Chris Mottram, 54 points
• Silver: Spencer Hall, 55 points
• Gold: Chris Haines, 62 points